Breaking Boundaries

New blog

2009-11-13T13:32:00.002+01:00

Just a few words to tell you that many months of absence, I've just started a new blog. If you want to join me, just click here

I hope you will like it !

Summer time

2009-07-07T08:00:00.002+02:00

Summer time can be weird. People are packing, people are talking about their summer plans, people are buying sun creams, people are wondering what to take. I do like summer.

I love my summer memories in Corsica with my parents, with the little family we had there. I remember the salt taste of the water, I remember the beautiful beaches, I remember the smell of Corsica. I remember the happiness of those days.

I remember the excitement of two free months without school and stress, when I was a child. As a teenager, I remember me and my best friend gambling on the possibility of meeting our first boyfriend during summer. I remember the very long letters we wrote to each other. Separation and reunion, those are two words which sum up pretty good what summer meant to me for a very long time.

Summer is like a bracket and I do like brackets. Because sometime, that's exactly what we need. And even if I don't have what we can call "real vacation", I fully intend to enjoy my summer as much as I can. And for what it worths, it couldn't have started better ! :)

Chanel sunglasses !

2009-07-06T08:00:00.001+02:00

Because some things don't need words...

Ps : Rory, I thought of you by writing this article...

Tag of pleasures !

2009-07-01T08:00:00.001+02:00

A eye pleasure : watching my Love.

A pleasure you share : telling someone you love a good news and then remembering this moment together.

A childhood pleasure : cooking with my grandma, packing for holiday with my little sister.

A fragrant pleasure : my orange chocolate candle from Comptoir de Famille, it's like a drug.

A selfish pleasure : watching grey's anatomy alone and not wanting to be disturbed

A unknown pleasure : believing to "the happily ever after" thing, having a child.

A taste pleasure : raspberries from the garden.

A anachronistic pleasure : watching Dawson's creek and remember how it was like to be a teenager...

A costless pleasure : smiling to people, it can change many things.

A shameful pleasure : staying home in my pair of pyjamas, not answering the phone and reading till the book is over.

A outrageously expensive pleasure : my new Chanel sunglasses...

A forbidden pleasure : after work, going back home and eating dark chocolate before dinner when I'm all alone and with something to read, preferably a magazine.

A spirit pleasure : discovering new books and new authors.

A narcissistic pleasure : when my Love told me that I'm beautiful, priceless ! Or when my pursuer tell me that my english accent is just perfect.

A literary pleasure : when a book changes your life or at least the way you see it.

A simple pleasure : coming into the plane every day and just smiling because I am where I want to be...

May your day be full of those little pleasures !

New addiction : Bones !

2009-06-30T08:00:00.001+02:00

The problem when you start watching the American Tv shows is that most of the time you can't stop it ! Until now, I have been really reasonable. I only watched Grey's Anatomy. I bravely resisted against Lost, Gossip Girl, Gilmore girls, Desperate Housewives and so on. Despite all the good things I heard about them. I resist.

But one or two months ago, it was Saturday evening and I was alone with the project of getting up at 4.00 in the morning and I turned the television on, what I do very rarely because I don't like television. Anyway... Bones was on M6 and after ten minutes, I knew that I shouldn't have watched it because it was obvious that this show has everything to be liked, even with the French traduction ! It's now official I'm a fan of Bones. Silly me !

I like the fact that for each episode, a case file is solved by the alliance of scientific expertise of the anthropologist Temperance Brennan and investigations lead by an FBI agent, Seeley Booth. I like even more the characters flaws and weaknesses and the way their relationships will evolve step by step. It is sometimes funny, sometimes sad and in any time touching...

I do like the character of Temperance Brennan, her professional skills, her lack of social skills and the way she tries to protect herself from pain and disappointment. I even like her clothing style, her original necklaces. She is stylish, definitively.

And you, have you ever watched this show ?

Piece of news, again

2009-06-29T08:00:00.002+02:00

Like many of you, I haven't been very regular when it cames to writing here for the past few days. I guess, real life sometimes gets the upper hand, especially in summer, when the sun shines and when there are so better things to do than staying home with our laptop...

- I spend a nice week end, the first off since the beginning of June. I went bycycling and it was very positive for both body and heart. I went for a picnic in a very beautiful city and I enjoyed those nice moments.

- I made some online shopping because I didn't want to go to overcrowded stores. I was reasonable...till I find the sunglasses I was searching for. They were not planned on my "to buy" list but I couldn't resist. You will easily understand when I will show you the pictures...

- I chatted with one of my friends this week end. Thank you, Facebook ! :) It has been a long time and I missed it so much. I was especially happy that she trust me enough to talk to me openly. I'm so glad to have her in my life...

- I'm ready for the new week to start !

Have a very nice week !

Holiday wanted !

2009-06-23T08:00:00.001+02:00

By this time of the year, everyone is speaking of their next vacations, of what we call summer plans. And that's completely natural. It just focuses on the fact that I won't have any vacation before October, even if I do need some. Summer is a time of hard work for people like me. That's the deal ! So all I can do is dreaming and what is the best way of doing that ? With pictures of course ! Any idea where they come from ??

Couples of memories

2009-06-22T08:00:00.005+02:00

Yesterday, it was the father's day and the music's day too. Concerning the father thing, I can't even remember the last time I saw him so the question of what to offer and how to celebrate was easily answered. Concerning the music's day, it was solved by the fact that I got up at 4.00 this morning.

But I easily remember of dates. Maybe it can explain why I studied history as first choice. Four years ago, I celebrated summer with three of my best friends in Paris. I had just broken things off my boyfriend and I was kind of devastated. I remember the pain, the heat, this terrible restaurant where we ate and where I wanted to go without paying (I've never eaten so badly). I remember all those couples I saw this evening. I remember me feeling alone for the first time for four years. One of my best friends is not a friend anymore. Those things happen, even if it's sad.

Three years ago, I had just finished a wonderful year and was about to leave for Germany. I was so happy. I spend the music's day with two of my best friends and we have so much fun. Happiness was all around, fear and happiness. And I knew, I did know, something extraordinary was on the verge to happen...

Two years ago, I spend this evening with my Love, not in Paris, but in a city I'm in love with (Zou, you know it very well :). We laughed a lot, shared so many memories and spend a wonderful time. After my German experience, I felt, I was back for good...even if my meredith's mood was about to arrive. I went through many questions concerning my professional life this summer and chose to focus on communication studies and to leave international relations for a while. Strangely enough, this decision led me to what I am today, professionnaly speaking and it's just so weird to think about how much everything can be bound and connected.

One year ago, I didn't do anything special, I had some important papers to hand over and a thesis to write. I was about to finish my studies and to start a nice summer job... I had no idea of what would come next.

And today, I don't really know where I am. I'm a Glass half-empty person and there will always be things I want and that I don't have. But for this summer, I wish to myself to enjoy things I already have as long as possible...

I'm the kind of person who think that she will never be good enough, that she will fail before even trying. I often tend to have this impression that everyone's moving forward and that I'm the only one who doesn't have any change in her life.

Those (long!) lines made me realize that somehow I may not be entirely right about that. Sometimes it's a good thing to know...

I wish to all of you a nice week !

Crazy day !

2009-06-17T08:00:00.003+02:00

There are some days when you should'nt have gotten up. That was the case yesterday.

- First, my dear Saphira, which is usually very calm and which doesn't do any stupid things, had chosen this day to relieve itself on the sofa. Ok, Saphira came to me at something like 7.00 am and I just couldn't go out of the bed. But as you can imagine, I was not very happy to discover its little surprise.

- Then I realized that I had forgotten some things in the plane last Friday and I guess, it was the straw that breaks the camel's back because I don't know how I do that but I always forget something in the plane and it does get on my nerves !

- And eventually, the cherry on the cake, I received the bill from EDF GDF, the extra bill and all I can say is that it wasn't a good surprise at all ! I had planned a week end in Normandy at the end of June but I guess, it wouldn't be reasonable to actually go there. Happy I said !

So I only hope, today will be better !

Raspberries' passion !

2009-06-17T08:00:00.002+02:00

I keep going on with red fruits, I can't resist ! Here are the first raspberries I picked up directly from our garden last week end. Aren't they beautiful ? And they taste so good ! God I love this fruit so much ! Dont you ?

Just to share it with you !

2009-06-16T08:00:00.001+02:00

Because even if I don't like them as much as I like strawberries or raspberries, I can't resist to show you this picture... I like its colors and bright. The cherries' season comes to an end here thanks to birds, so I guess it will be the last picture ! Bye cherries, see you next year !

Have a very nice day !

New shoes !

2009-06-15T08:00:00.000+02:00

Be careful, to start the week, this post will be completely girly !

I'm the kind of person who deeply likes things with history. That's why I like second hand clothes or shoes. That's maybe why I need to live in a place which has already been lived in.

Anyway, even if I don't write often about this trend of my personality, I do like fashion creators' items (jewelry, bags and shoes especially). I don't like them because they're coming from Chanel or Prada or whatever. I just like them because they fit with my style, or at least with the style I'm trying to have...

But let's be honest, I'm not ready (and let's be more honest, I can't even afford it) to buy them at their market prices. So I just try to be patient...I even think, some prices are insane and that even if I were rich, I couldn't spend this amount of money for a bag, whereas some people have this money for living during one month. Well...

My point is, my patience has been rewarded because look, what I recently found...

So, what do you think ?

Baking time, Izzie's mood !

2009-06-12T08:00:00.001+02:00

In a time like this, baking does make me feel so much better. It makes my mind stop and focus on one thing.

So the other day, I made some shortbread, what in french we call "sablés". This receipe is simple, easy to make but it requires some concentration about making a good pastry with our hands. I definitively love the creative side of cooking !

Here is the receipe from the book entitled "Les gâteaux de Mamie"

180g flour

120g butter

60g sugar

2 eggs

Baking powder (one bag)

- Mix together the flour and the baking powder.

- Dig a hole and full it with several pieces of butter. Mix everything together with your hands (my favorite part).

- Add one egg and if the pastry is still too sticky, add again some flour. Then, put the pastry in the fridge during 30 minutes.

- Then, spread the pastry, use your pastry cutters and have fun !

- Don't forget to "paint" your shortbread with egg yolk to give them a better taste.

- Cook the shortbreads for about ten minutes, if you're not sure of the cooking, one solution : taste them !

Hope you will enjoy them as much as I did !

"I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive"

2009-06-11T08:00:00.001+02:00

I don't really know how to begin, what to write first. Maybe that I'm still there...

Last week was terrible for so many reasons. The pain, the incomprehension, the nightmares, especially the nightmares.

I need to be surrounded by people I love these days. I need them to be near me. When people are around me, I could even say that I'm fine, that I know, the show must go on, that I'm alive. But when people leave, when I find myself alone again, I just freak out. I can't stop thinking of some...let's say... bad things.

I guess, I will need some time to get over it, to accept it, to stop having nightmares about it. I fly again and I'm so happy for that. That's a first step. Despite this terrible accident, I do love my job, even more than before. Because even if in a time like that, it could be hard to believe, I know, I do know that most of the time, we, as flight attendants, can make a journey enjoyable, that we can offer smiles and dreams, that even sometimes we can save people. That's all I need to hold on to right now...

En deuil

2009-06-02T08:00:00.001+02:00

Je n'écrirais pas en anglais aujourd'hui, même si peu importe la langue choisie, les mots restent vain pour ce genre de maux justement.

Je suis sous le choc. Assommée, hébétée. A l'heure où j'écris les larmes roulent sur mes joues sans que je ne puisse les arrêter. 228 personnes étaient à bord de cet airbus, 228 personnes aujourd'hui disparues. On ne peut être que touché face à cette catastrophe humaine. Pour cette douleur en puissance, pour le chagrin, pour le vide que ces personnes laissent dans la vie de leurs familles, amis, amours, pour cette injustice surtout. Parce que lorsqu'on prend l'avion pour une destination de rêve, pour retrouver ses proches, on est loin d'imaginer que tout peut se terminer comme ça, dans une carlingue, à 10km au dessus du sol...Et parce que malheureusement, ça n'arrive pas qu'aux autres.

Air France, mes yeux brillent rien que de l'évoquer. Mon choix de coeur, la compagnie qui m'a donné l'envie de faire ce métier, mon premier amour aérien.

C'était Rio mais cela aurait très bien pu être New York, Bombay ou Hong-Kong... C'était eux, des personnes que je ne connaissais peut-être pas, des personnes avec lesquelles j'avais déjà volé comme ce chef de cabine qui aurait pu me faire regretter d'être célibataire, ce steward adorable qui m'a pris sous son aile à Los Angeles, des visages croisés au détour des salles de briefing, des sourires échangés. C'étaient eux mais ça aurait pu être moi ou elle ou lui, mes collègues d'hier et d'aujourd'hui. Parce que devenir PNC, ce n'est pas seulement porter un uniforme, servir des cafés en l'air comme certains le pensent et faire des démonstrations de sécurité que personne ne regarde, c'est surtout appartenir à une grande famille. Et c'est pour cela qu'aujourd'hui, je suis en deuil.

Etre dans un avion, c'est mon métier. Je fais ça tous les jours. Lorsqu'on choisit ce métier, on est conscient des risques, comme n'importe quel métier d'ailleurs. On sait quelles sont les phases les plus dangereuses durant le vol, on est entraîné pour ça. Mais lorsque je pars de chez moi pour aller en vol, avec le sourire, je ne me dis pas que je pourrais ne pas revenir... Et je crois que quelque part, cette nouvelle m'a fait prendre conscience, réellement, du contraire...

Je sais qu'il faut avancer, que les avions ont décollé et décolleront encore mais là j'ai le coeur qui saigne, terriblement, et j'avais besoin de l'écrire...

Cherry's time

2009-05-29T08:00:00.000+02:00

I'm not a huge fan of cherries, I don't know exactly why. Maybe because I'm a little bit lazy and because I don't like stones. But I'm in love with their color and that's why I didn't resist taking some pictures of them. Besides, as you can see I wasn't alone. I guess, Saphira likes cherries too or at least our cherry tree...

Have a nice week end people. As for me, I will be flying all the week end and I can't wait !

Workholic !

2009-05-28T08:00:00.000+02:00

The other day, I was just coming back from work, it was something like 11.45 PM and I was just happy. Happy like I have never been before (except last summer), for a job I mean. I love my job.I do love it. I didn't think I will love it so much. I just think, I'm lucky to have this in my life. Every day, it makes my life better, no matter what. I'm grateful for that and I enjoy it, every bit of it...

Le loir dans la théière

2009-05-27T08:00:00.000+02:00

Some weeks ago, I discovered a nice place in Paris with a friend of mine. In fact, it's a very famous place and I knew of course that such a place existed but I hadn't got the chance to go there until this day. Wanna discover more ?

Located in the "Marais "area, this place can be defined as a tearoom. What I particularly liked there was the atmosphere. A mix of old things like chairs and tables, original pictures and yummy food. It's cosy and we easily feel comfortable, as if we could spend an entire afternoon chatting, dreaking tea or simply reading. It's the kind of place where time flies and where you forget everyting but the pleasure of just being there.

Like most of the places in Paris, it's often overcrowded and it's , let be honest, expensive but I recommend it strongly for different reasons, like for example their unforgettable chocolate cake. I even thought, it could be a nice place for another encounter between bloggers...

Le Loir dans la théière

3, rue des Rosiers

75004 Paris

Metro : Saint Paul

Roses are my favorite flowers !

2009-05-26T08:00:00.001+02:00

Just because I like those pictures and because they remind me that after the storm, there will always be some ray of light, I wanna share them with you and wish you a wonderful day !

She's back !

2009-05-25T08:00:00.002+02:00

It took me some time to come back, it took me some time to think about, to try to understand. I am so not done but I guess, it's a first step. Maybe in some way, I needed that, this awful crisis to realize some things. Of course, there's a huge difference between realizing them and changing them. But I'm on my way to do that.

I'm glad to be back. I miss writing here even if I did my best to keep on reading your blogs and commenting them...

I would like to thank all of you for your support, your presence, all your kind and nice words which helped me in so many ways. Among all the things I like about this blog, meeting you is the best thing that happened to me. A special huge thanks for my Zou and my dear Petite Fleur for their extra support, no matter the distance and the time of the day !

Sadness

2009-05-11T08:00:00.001+02:00

I’m sorry for what will go next, for this complaining article but somehow I need to write it. I just can’t pretend being fine. I’m not fine, at all. I’m sad, terribly and desperatly sad. And I need to express it.

Things are just like hell with my boyfriend. I guess, we are closer to the breakup than we ever were.I don’t know what is wrong with me but there’s obviously something wrong. I’m unable to have a healthy and balanced relationship. I’m unable to be happy, like everyone can be where they are in love and loved back the same way. Everyting’s so complicated with me. I always want more, more love, more attention, more prooves of love. I’m so dark inside and I’m so tired of being complicated, I’m so tired of being myself actually.

I’m not mature when it comes to relationship. Maybe I have this false vision of love. The perfection stuff I tend to and I never even come close to it.There’s a part of me who wants to run away, as usual. To leave him, to quit because I can’t find any other solution right now. I’m not saying, this is brave but I’m so lost. I don’t know which part will win at the end.

I’m not sure to be able to write other articles this week, I’m sorry…

Strawberries again and again

2009-05-07T08:00:00.000+02:00

In case of you haven't noticed, I'm a huge fan of strawberries. The color, the taste, I like everything about them. And when strawberries' season begins, I can't resist buying them again and again.

Last week end, I tried a new receipe with strawberries, a very easy one : strawberries with basil and balsamic vinegar. It was yummy, even if there was maybe a little bit too much of vinegar, according to my Love. But I strongly recommend this ingredients mix for all the people who love strawberries' taste. Enjoy !

Lost

2009-05-06T08:00:00.000+02:00

Most of my "articles" are writen early and try to be as bright and shinny as they can. But to be honest, I'm not really in this mood these days. I even feel kind of sad and lost most of the time.

Sometimes, I look back and I realize all the things I haven't done yet, I realize how far I am from other people who seem to succeed in everything. I know, it's totally childish to react this way and to keep on comparing myself with the others. I guess, I'm just feeling fragile right now, as if I could be broken by anything or anyone.
I have this idea about myself according to which I'm not able to do things right. Maybe it's the looser syndrom, I don't know...And I wish I could change that but right now, I just have this impression of fighting against windmills and it's exhausting, totally exhausting...

Ladurée bar

2009-05-05T08:00:00.000+02:00

Last week, I went to the Ladurée Bar located near the Champs Elysées with a friend of mine who deeply shares with me the passion of "macarons". Besides, we had many things to celebrate : two new jobs in particular and we wanted to do it properly.

The Ladurée bar has been created to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Champs Elysées Ladurée shop. The design of the place is very different from the one of the shops. It's more modern, very light and definitively trendy I guess. I liked it very much. Of course, prices are high but location, quality of the service and of the food totally worth it. It was beautiful and delicious.I spend a very nice evening there and of course, I took some pictures to show you...

So what do you think ? Nice place, isn't it ?

Nice walk in the garden !

2009-05-04T08:00:00.004+02:00

Because after a long week end, Monday isn't the most favorite day of the week, I wanna share with you some pictures I took during a nice walk I had a few days ago. Nothing better than nature and flower to give strength and hope for the new week ! Enjoy !

Week end, at least !

2009-04-29T08:00:00.001+02:00

Yeah, I know, we're on Wednesday but since yesterday, it's the week end to me !! Four complete days off and believe me, they are more than welcome. On Tuesday, when the alarm clock rang, it was fast easy to get up, at 3.00, fast easy. I guess, it's the sign people can get used to many things, including very early wake up. I'm glad of course to have those days off. Here are some things I want to do for the following days...

- Going to my beautician to have a skin care. Spending most of the time in an aircraft does make me happy but my skin on the other side doesn't seem to share this feeling... I don't go to the beautician very often but it's a little pleasure I do like. Taking time for me, being taken care of, having some rest and trying not to think of anything. I usually feels good when I go there.

- Painting and decorating my future new home. I have so many ideas and I had such a few time lately to actually do them. In our living room, the main theme is travelling so no need to tell you that I'm very inspired. Some frames about New York there, about London and Berlin too... :)

- Meeting one of my friend I haven't seen for several weeks. I can't wait !

- Spending time with my love. To all the positive points of being flight attendant, I can underline the fact that routine isn't possible. It's totally fine with me but there are some moments when you need to share a little bit more than phone calls and some evenings.

- Reading as usual..., writing new articles for my blog, there already are plenty of them in my head

- And maybe trying not to do anything from time to time, just relaxing and enjoying the moment...

I wish I could be a cat sometimes !

2009-04-24T08:00:00.000+02:00

Nothing else to say... I guess, the picture speaks for itself. So peaceful... Exactly what I would need right now, considering that I woke up at 3.00 in the morning...

Comparison

2009-04-23T08:00:00.000+02:00

I had one of my friend on the phone yesterday. We talked a lot, an hour long in fact. We talked about so many things : work because we do the same job, self confidence and especially the lack of it, friendship and of course love. Girl talk.

It made me feel good to realize how similar our problems can be,how similar our questions and flaws can seem. It was conforting and reassuring to realize that I wasn't the only one to go through some situations.

I have this annoying habit to compare myself with the others. Preferably those who seem to have the perfect professional path, the perfect relationship, the perfect life in fact. My friend does that too. And at some point during our conversation, we just burst laughing when I said : " I don't how people do to not compare themselves with the others". That's me, even when I'm trying not to compare myself, I'm just doing it... Sadly true...

I know, it's bullshit because everyone's unique, every relationship and life are different from the others. But sometimes, most of the time to be honest, I just can't help. I need to be aware of what I have, of what I did and not of what I haven't accomplished yet. Even if at the end of the year, I will turn to be 25, I'm still young I guess...I need to enjoy moments, even if they don't fit in what I can call "perfection". I need to be a little bit more satisfied with myself, no matter how high my standards are. And that's a hard job, I'm telling you...

Smoothie time !

2009-04-22T08:00:00.000+02:00

The other day, after I flew all the night long without any sleep, I came back totally exhausted. I slept four hours and when I woke up, I decided to have a home made smoothie because there's nothing better when you're craving for vitamins and for something to let you stay awake during the day.

Concerning food, the simpler is most of the time the better... Blend together 100g of strawberries and raspberries. Pour this blending in a glass full of ice. Add a straw and some raspberries to make it nice. Close your eyes and enjoy !

I hope, you will like what I can call my "after night flight" favorite smoothie !

Queen of flowers !

2009-04-21T08:00:00.000+02:00

Because a home can't be a home without flowers, I wanna share with you my two new orchids. The purple one is a gift from my mother and the white one is a gift from myself ! The thing is, I wasn't even interested in flowers some months ago but things have changed. I'm not sure to have what we call a "green hand" so if some of you have any advice to know how to take care of those beautiful flowers, what they need in term of light or water, please don't hesitate.

Have a nice day !

Back !

2009-04-20T10:50:00.001+02:00

I'm sorry to have deserted this blog during the last week. This last month has been eventful in so many ways. New job, new way of life and a new home soon.

When I wasn't in a plane, I was making boxes or trying to learn how to put some Ikea furniture, which on the contrary what some people think, is not always easy for a person like me with two left hands...And because I'm the kind of perfectionist person, I prefer doing less things but doing them correctly. That's why I haven't written any article since Wednesday because I haven't found the time until now.

But now things should be calmer, at least I hope, they will, I need them to be ! Of course, there are some things left to do. But I honestly find that in two weeks, we worked very efficiently ! And that's the most important.

I'm glad now to leave boxes and stuff like that behind me and to focus on other things which don't include paperwall or furniture.

So now, I'm back for good ! I've missed writing here and reading you so much !

The Brooklyn Follies

2009-04-15T08:00:00.000+02:00

Because New York will always be be trendy, today I would like to share with you a book I do like, the kind of books I could read again and again because everytime I read it, I discover something new about the story, about the characters.

The Brooklyn Follies has been published by Paul Auster in 2006. The story takes place in 2000. With a lung cancer in remission, Nathan Glass has lived a typical suburban American life for years. He decides to find "a quiet place to die" and chooses Brooklyn for that matter. Far from being an end, his decision to move there is the beginning of something better. In fact, this book is showing us the entire process of learning again how to live, how to love and especially how to give.

What I found really striking is the evolving process throughout the book. At first, the atmosphere appears to be very gloomy and grim. As readers we are faced with a ill man, suffering from loneliness, sketching conclusions of a life he has clearly disliked. And at the end, he has evolved and improved himself. I did feel sympathy for him, for all those trials he went through...

Auster's style is sharp and simple. Things are more suggested than expressed. To my mind, Paul Auster wrote a sublime story about the ways people abandon and save one another, thanks to love. The point underlined there is that people do not succeed in anything alone. They need each other. Recognizing this fact is an asset not a weakness...

And because I'm a weak girl, I can't resist to share with you some powerful extract of the book : "It was eight o'clock when I stepped out onto the street, just 46 minutes before the first plane crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Just two hours after that, the smoke of three thousand incinerated bodies would drift over towards Brooklyn and come pouring down on us in a white cloud of ashes and death. But for now, it was still eight o'clock and as I walked along the avenue under that brilliant blue sky, I was happy, my friends, as happy as any man who had ever lived".

I hope you will like this book as much as I did !

Easter Week end !

2009-04-14T08:00:00.007+02:00

- I hope you had a wonderful Easter week end and you enjoyed chocolate as much as you could. As for me, I'm not a huge fan of chocolate. I mean, I like chocolate cake of course but I don't eat pieces of chocolate alone. I nevertheless spend the Easter meal at my grandparent's home on Sunday and I ate delicious things like chocolate macarons for example...

- I got up at 3.00 am yesterday. Yes, you read correctly. I went to bed at 8.00 pm. I need at least 7 hours of sleep per night. 3.00 am is very early but I'm sure, I will get used to it. No traffic jam at this time, I'm telling you ! And I do like going back home around 12.00 and knowing that I have the entire afternoon and evening to enjoy.

- I'm supposed to have some days off this week and they will be more than welcome. Last week was eventful and I didn't get a chance to slow down, on the contrary to what I should have done. So yes, I'm totally exhausted and it's entirely my fault, except maybe the 3.00 am wake up ! I know me and there are so many things going on lately, I don't know if I will be able to do nothing but at least, I could try to have some rest.

I wish you to have a wonderful week !

In a quiet place !

2009-04-09T10:00:00.001+02:00

This morning will be quiet. The last three days, I had so many things to do before going to work. Things to buy for the flat, things to put in order. I have been running and running until now.

And yesterday, when I came back from my flight very late, I was just so tired and exhausted. I need to slow down a little bit. I'm the kind of person who always wants to do everything. But sometimes, I just can't. It's only my first week and I need to take care of myself. It means that I had to eat correctly and to sleep enough.

Plus I have my last exam on Friday during my flight in order to know if I will be able to do my job properly. And of course, it wouldn't be funny if I hadn't to work for that matter. So from today to Friday, no more running but only sleeping and a little bit of working...After that eventful week and if I succeed, the week end will be more than welcome !

These days...

2009-04-08T08:00:00.000+02:00

- I like bringing some stuffs at my Love's home. Step by step but the most important thing is to walk, right ?

- I like thinking of the decoration and the atmosphere I wanna create there. Some orchids to buy, some pictures from my travels to put on the wall. I need that in a certain way. I need this impression of having my own home.

- I like learning and God, I have been learning every day for more than two weeks now. I like being aware of all the things I still have to learn too. It means that the only thing I can do is to make progress and improve myself. Which is positive !

- I like getting up in the morning and telling myself that I have many hours to enjoy before actually starting working. I like having time.

- I like shifting hours, I like working when everyone don't. I like going home very late or very early. I'm feeling kind of free I guess.

- And among all the things I like, this one is the worst : I have never liked a job so much ! It's a feeling I wish to anyone.

Have a nice day, people !

Little sister's birthday cake !

2009-04-07T10:00:00.002+02:00

For several years now, there's a tradition with my little sister's birthday. Two years ago, I lost my purse with my money and my passeport and my driving licence. It was a horrible day and when I tried to bake her birthday cake, I just made a mess of it. I remember pretty well which cake it was : a chocolate and pear pie. Pastry was not baked enough and chocolate was completely burnt. One year ago, we had some family problems in April and her birthday was a little bit sad and we weren't very keen to celebrate.

So this year, I had decided that everything must be great. I wasn't supposed to be there to celebrate because of my flight but I couldn't do anything. So I decided to bake a cake for her. A chocolate and pear cake this time and not a pie. My little sister is a huge fan of chocolate and pear as you may have understood it. I baked the cake, everything went well. I put it in the oven. No problem. And then I tried to turn it out. A part of the cake remained in the mold ! "Crap" that's what I told myself. I had to think quickly. It was impossible to put it on the plate cake because it hadn't the form of a cake anymore. It was more or less like chocolate and pear gruel. So I sliced the cake in several pieces. And to my great surprise, it did look right... And according to the sms my sister send to me, it was delicious, even in pieces. Of course, I haven't told her what happened and maybe I won't...

One year ago...

2009-04-06T08:00:00.002+02:00

One year ago, I was about to start my trainee to be a summer flight attendant. I remember it as if it was yesterday. And one year after, I'm now a "real" flight attendant whose first flight is today. I can't help myself thinking of those little coincidences in life.

Until now, I haven't had the time to realize that I will actually be on a plane today. My week end was eventful and exhausting. But it's not a bad thing, I guess. In my case, the less time I have, the less fear I feel...

There are many feelings in my heart and my head right now. But the most important one is happiness and that's the only thing I want to think about.

I wish you a very nice week !

Happy memories !

2009-04-03T08:00:00.000+02:00

My training's over. Hard to believe after the two eventful weeks I've just lived. When I left the building yesterday evening, I was smiling. We passed our tests and ate some macarons to celebrate. All the trainees went home together, there was sun, we were laughing in the train, we were already planning to see each other very soon. Happiness, that's how we call this feeling...

There are so many reasons why I want to be a crew attendant. Among them, there is the fact of being part of a group, of a crew. I've already experienced it. At different moments : in high school, in summer camp, in working groups. I'm familiar with it. But this time, it's different. I know, I chose right. If you take some person separately, you will find them ordinary most of the time. Put them together and you will be surprised by how extraordinary a group can be. People are definitively what matters to me.

Both my head and heart are still full of many memories, many good memories I shared with them this week. I guess, I will need some time to land...before really taking off...

I wish you to have a nice week end !

Grey's therapy

2009-04-02T08:00:00.000+02:00

When I'm feeling sad or lost, I have this weird habit of watching again some Grey's anatomy episodes. I know, it's a little bit strange but I'm telling you, this kind of therapy does work for me, even better than traditional one.

TV shows are created so that people can recognize themselves in them, in their stories, their characters and their questions. I'm aware of that...Fiction just tries to describe reality I guess.

When I was teenager, I was a huge fan of Dawson's creek and of the character of Joey Potter. The love triangle thing, the future and college stuff. Call me insane but this TV show made me grow up, made me learn.

Years go by and questions and priorities change. I'm not a teenager anymore and I'm not an adult either... But I'm still asking myself many questions and I do need answers, I do hope for them at least.

I'm dark and twisty in many ways some people can not imagine. Of course, most people are. But let's say that I'm a little bit darker than some others. It's not something you see first when you get to know me. It's not something that I want to show to people either. Sometimes, it's a burden. Especially speaking of love, relationship and commitment. It's something I'm working on but there are many things left to do.

That's why among all the characters of Grey's Anatomy, I feel close to the Meredith's one. Last week, Derek eventually proposed to her with some sentences that couldn't have been better : "If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. Because you've seen worst, you survive worst. You say, you're all dark and twisty, it's not a flaw, it's a strength, it makes you who you are." I know, it is only fiction but when I watched this episode, it gave me hope...Some lines to think about I guess...

The little black book of style

2009-04-01T08:00:00.001+02:00

I guess, many people heard from this book, written by Nina Garcia. Princesse Audrey wrote an article in November and it drew my attention. So when I decided to buy some books in the Amazon website last month, this book was among the lucky one ! To be honest, it's even the first fashion book I bought and I don't regret my choice at all !

- First I was attracted by its black cover with pink and silver letters title. Very elegant, very classy. The illustrations inside are very nice, made by Ruben Toledo.

- The Nina Garcia's way of writing is very simple, and easy to understand. And in the same time, there is a special thing that makes you read her book as if it was a novel. What she says is funny, serious, touching and in any case really accurate.

- There are six chapters. I particularly liked the first one entitlded "Be your own muse". It's nothing but a manifesto to all the women of the world to love and to accept themselves. And it did speak to me I guess. Because of my way of considering fashion, because of the importance of being myself, of finding what suits me and what don't. The positive point with this book is that every woman who read it can recognize herself.

- The second chapter deals with the question of basics in a very interesting and clever way.In a affordable way too ! So for those who wanna know, Nina Garcia's advices are the following : every woman must have a little black dress, a classic men's white shirt, a cashmere cardigan or turtleneck, a trench coat, denim, a man's classic watch, diamonds, ballet flats and a classic high-heel pump and a great bag.

- And what I like the most about this book is the different quotations found throughout the book and I can't resist to give you my favorite :

"Fashion fades, style is eternal." Coco Chanel

"Fashion can be bought. Style one must be possess." Edna Woolman Chase

"One is never over-or underdresses with a little black dress." Karl Lagerfeld

"I do not believe in God. I believe in Cashmere." Fran Lebowitz

...

- If there was only one sentence to remember of from this book, it will be the following : "Style is a matter of finding out who you are and who you want to be in the world. I hope you choose to be fabulous, daring, fun, inspired and yourself"...

I liked this book because I read it at the right moment. For a few months now, I'm trying to be more myself, to think of what I want to be, what image I want to give. I'm trying to know myself better, to take care of what I am, of the inside and the outside. I'm no more a teenager and I can't consider myself as an adult. I guess, I'm on the long way to finding myself. Like everyone.

And you, what do you think ? Do you like fashion and trends ? Or doesn't it matter ? How do you feel about it, about the search of our own style ? Is that important to you ?

Have a very nice day, people !

29/30

2009-03-31T21:40:00.002+02:00

Just a few words to tell you that I did pass my exam... I got 29 out of 30... I'm happy...

Lucky charms orchids

2009-03-31T08:00:00.003+02:00

Last week, I was completely exhausted and when I'm exhausted and stressed and worried, I cry very often. And I was at my Love's home. So I was crying. He let me alone for a few minutes and he came back with something that made my heart go faster and that made me really really happy. He came back with purple and white orchids for me with a pink flower pot holder... He looked at me with his smile, you know this kind of smile. A week before, I remember me telling him that I wanted to buy some orchids for our new home. That's what he did...

Who did say that it was hard to make a woman happy ? Honestly ??

So nothing better than colors and flowers to start the day. I hope, they will bring me luck for my exam !

Important week !

2009-03-30T08:00:00.002+02:00

This week is going to be eventful, that's for sure. No time to get bored these days but I guess, it's rather positive. I do like when things are moving this way.

- First I have my exam on Tuesday. Ok, that's not something I call positive but I have no choice. I'm worried but I will do my best. Plus I worked hard this week end ( but will it be enough ?) so I hope, it's gonna be ok... So it does mean too that this week, I will be either sign my working contrat or get fired if I don't pass the exam (who says that being flight attendant was easy ??).

- All the week long, I have a commercial training and it's gonna be great. For so many reasons. I will have to wear my uniform with all the make up and the hair do stuff. I know, it's a girly thing but still I can't wait. I even bought some extra make-up stuffs to get ready. Among them, there is a beautiful chanel lipstick...

- My mother-in-law will move out this week. And consequently my Love will have to settle in his new home, to put up furniture and so on. I don't even know if I will be able to be there because of my training... I haven't had the time to think about it, about the fact that I will move in with him soon. No need to add that I haven't packed yet...

- On Sunday, I will see my lovely Zou and other many nice people in a beautiful place with yummy cakes. All the ingredients to spend a wonderful afternoon, don't you think ? I guess, after this week, such a moment will be more than welcome !

I wish to all of you a wonderful week !

Piece of news

2009-03-26T08:00:00.002+01:00

- Everything's fine until now. I guess, I chose a working area in which, on the contrary to what people think, you need to learn constantly. 300 hundred pages. Yeah you read right. I have a test on Tuesday to know if I can work for this company. To know if I can cram 300 hundred pages into my head before Tuesday. I'm not a stressed person, you're kidding...Ok, maybe a little bit.

- Despite this stress and all my dark and twisty feelings, I can tell you how happy I am to learn all those things, to practice them, to feel useful for a change, to have all those challenges because let's be honest, I've so many things to learn. There are so few things I know right now. But I do like challenges. And after the past four months of boredom, challenges are exactly what I need.

- I'm so glad to meet new people too, to get to know them, to laugh with them, to share with them and to understand what we mean when we talk about "big family"... I do love that, this nice feeling of belonging to this special group, of working together.

- I had the time to finish the book "Revolutionary Road" from Richard Yates. I loved the movie and I did love the book, especially how it was written. Feelings of the different characters were described so well and I guess, we therefore understand more things than we did in the movie. For example, Frank Wheeler seems so much darker. The story is hard, painful but terribly alive and accurate, even today. I think, it's the kind of book everyone has to read once. In order to remind that if you're not happy with yourself, you can't be it with somebody and that taking the easy choice has only one reward : it's easy. Period. There are not only one way to be happy but plenty of them. And everyone has to search for it, at least one time. I just hope, it doesn't have to end always so badly...

I wish you to have a very nice day and I'm sorry if I seem a little bit "flight attendant" focused this week. I know, it can be a little bit boring. So I promise I will write about other things very soon...

For those who are curious :)

2009-03-26T06:00:00.001+01:00

Because pictures don't need any words...

Isn't it a beautiful way to start the day ?

Gift

2009-03-25T08:00:00.003+01:00

Today, I wanna share two things with you :

- First I have the most wonderful grandparents in the whole world but I already know that. They are generous, funny, very dynamic and their presence helps me in so many ways. I'm not saying that because there are my grandparents, it just happens that they actually are wonderful ! (But relax, the other part of my family, the father part is really crappy so we have a balance here...)

- Second, they decided to buy me a present in order to celebrate both the end of my studies and my new job opportunity. How lovely is that ? ;)

Welcome on board

2009-03-24T08:00:00.003+01:00

I don't know if we can say "we are made for this or this job". I don't know if there's a profile for some job. Of course, somebody who can't deal with bood will have some difficulties to become a surgeon. If you don't like teaching, being teacher will be hard. Of course, if you don't like travelling, becoming flight attendant will have no sense (even if it's not enough).

Since the middle of February, I'm officially "Flight attendant", administratively speaking. It means that I passed my exam, that I got my card to prove it and the only thing that was missing was a airline to work for. This question has been resolved since I got accepted for a compagny. Let's be honest, it's not the compagny I craved for but at least it's a first step... And taking into account the economic context, it's not a bad one !

I'm not the kind of person you imagine as a flight attendant. Or I guess, I wasn't. I mean by that that even if this area has always attracted me in some way, I never thought I would like to actually be flight attendant. I had a master degree and for the last two years, I was sure I wanted to go to Germany or to work with Germany, especially concerning transnational projects. And I had this incredible, amazing opportunity to become a sort of temporary flight atttendant during summer. And it just changed everything. I fell in love with this job, in the most unexptected way but still...Of course, I first denied it. But you can't lie to yourself very long, can you ? I remembered very well when someone told me on my way back from New York or another town in America : "but by the way, I don't understand why you don't want to be a flight attendant, I mean, you already are a flight attendant through and through, you're just the only one who doesn't want to see it". He was right.

Some people think that when you studied, it's not a good job enough. "Well, you wanna be waitress in the sky and your studies won't have any use" someone told me. Or "but think of your children (that I don't have right now), it will be so much difficult". Yeah kind of.

Choosing this path was my first adult decision, I guess. The first I was ready to take responsibilities for. The first I cared about so much. I could have failed though. First the theoritical exam, then the practical, then the selection. Nothing's sure when you want to become a flight attendant. But I do know that at this moment, I'm making the right choice. It's the kind of feeling which worths to be experienced once in life. There's still a long road to reach my goal but I do have hope and a kind of faith too. For the simple reason that right now, I can't imagine myself doing anything else...

So welcome on board people !

Freedom and new beginning

2009-03-23T08:00:00.002+01:00

On Friday afternoon, when I left the building of what I can call now my previous work, I did feel so relieved and happy. In one word I was free. And it was such a positive feeling. No more moaner to deal with, no more endless hours spend by doing nothing, no more figures to gather, no more office...

Today, something really different is about to begin. First I have two weeks of intensive trainee (with the work I choose, there will always be trainees). I can't wait and in the same time, I'm a little bit afraid. Second, choosing something theoritically is one thing, facing it with reality is another. I hope I will be up to it...

Consequently, I won't be very present on your blogs for the next two weeks. So sorry, but I will always try to pass by and to write a comment because I can't imagine not doing it. Blogging has been a part of my day since December and I don't want that to change...

I wish to all of you a wonderful week !

All good things must come to an end

2009-03-20T08:00:00.002+01:00

That's it. I turned the last page of the last book of the Twilight saga. I can't believe it. It's over, so over. There's no book left. Oh I tried, you know I did try to make it last, to not read it so fast but I couldn't resist.

Call me insane but for the last two weeks, Edward, Bella and Jacob have been my best imaginary friends. Everytime there was something wrong or everytime I felt sad or angry (especially during work), I thought of them, I thought that there would be at least this moment of total happiness, this moment when I would forget everything but the story of Edward and Bella. I did find refuge in reading it...

I don't exactly realize that there won't be this big black book in my bag when I take my metro tomorrow, that I won't ask myself anymore "oh my God, what will happen next" ? I will feel so empty, I guess. I don't like emptiness.I don't either like ends, maybe that's why I often start reading books by the end (but relax I didn't do it for Twilight, lucky me ! ). Happy ends, funny ends, painfuls ends, ends always make me sad.

I'm such a sensitive person, I know, it's ridiculous, there are only books and imaginary characters but...I will miss them so much.

Everything's moving so fast...

2009-03-19T11:45:00.001+01:00

Despite the strike, everything's moving so fast today. In a way I didn't expect, in a strange way if I may say. That's weird how things sometimes happen.

Yesterday I got my answer for the job : it was positive...but (because there's a but) it wouldn't begin before June. Of course, I was disappointed because it meant that I had to stay longer in my actual job (which I can't honestly bear). I'm a very sensitive person, I cry, often, I may have difficulties to deal with my feelings. Sometimes they get the best of me. So yesterday evening, I was complaining and crying. Oh yeah I do like the crying. About my life, about my future and all those things I have no control over. Bad evening.

Today, it was a little bit better. First because I spend the first hour of my day reading Twilight and it's my good mood pill these days. Second because even if I'm stubborn, I try to take some distance, to consider things from another point of view. I was even saying to myself that it would be great not to work during May, to enjoy all the long week ends and to have the time to move in properly.

Life likes irony, life likes joke, doesn't it ? I got a call this morning, asking me if I could begin next Monday, so basically in four days. Yeah you read correctly. So I went to my boss and told him that I want to leave. So now let's see if the administration will allow me to leave so quickly. It better should. I start on Monday. Ok, it's a trainee. But on Monday.

It does sound unrealistic to me. As soon as I try to deal with some things, to accept them, things just change, in a way that no one else including me could have expected. I only hope it's for the best. You know me now, I'm a fearful person...

For my friend

2009-03-18T08:00:00.000+01:00

Because you're in pain and I can't bear it, because I do know what you're going through right now, because I do know how you're feeling, how trapped and lost you feel, because I wish I could have the right words to give you strenghts and hope...

Because even if I'm kind of a baby in the blogging universe, I can say that meeting you is one of the best things that happened to me in the last few months. Because I have this impression that I have known you for years. Because knowing that there's someone like you in the world does make me happy.

Because you're a good person, because you have so many positive things in you you are not even aware of. You're doing great, even if it's not always enough for you and you will do great. Please, sweetie, don't let your fears get the best of you.

And because when I say "I'll be there", I mean it.

Love and all its friends

2009-03-17T08:00:00.002+01:00

I'm a fearful person. I have this annoying habit of freaking out too frequently and in the same time, I'm not the kind of person who says "everything's fine" when it's not.

I'm afraid of many things. Some are common (death of people I love), some kind of unexpected (dogs phobia) and other very serious and even paralyzing (fear of committment).The truth is we all have fears we have to struggle against.

My worst fear is about couple and happiness. I'm not afraid (at least not anymore) of being a couple, of being in a relationship. But I can't help myself of asking myself too many questions about it. I don't have many happy patterns for that matter. Not at all. I know, that's not a reason to generalize. My question is : is it possible to be in couple, to live together and to be happy, not perfectly happy but at least happy most of the time ? Or with Meredith's word : does "happily ever after" really exist ? How to make a relationship work ? Being a couple doesn't have to mean pain, regrets, and all those negative things, right ? Or am I too naive to believe in that ?

Those questions are not new and for most of them, I have to accept that there are not AN answer but plenty of them, depending on people and their relationships. My mistake is to want to hold on to a specific pattern with rules. It's kind of reassuring but it doesn't work that way. The only thing to do is to create my own "pattern". To live what I do want to live. No matter what people think or say. But that's hard too, I think, to be unconcerned about it. And maybe that's a part of the problem too. It is so harmful to compare with the others. It doesn't add anything to our lives.

Life shouldn't be ruled by fears. Fears have to be faced and then overcome. Easy to say right ? Harder to to... But necessary, though...

And you, do you have similar fears ? How do you try to fight them ? Any advices ?

Higgledy-piggledy

2009-03-16T08:00:00.005+01:00

- I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward... I want to be 17 again, I want to be in high school again. I'm a weak girl, I know that. I can't help. It's just that the Twilight saga is so fascinating. I can't stop reading it. I never thought I would feel that way for those books. I'm torn between reading the last two volumes as quick as possible and slowing down because when there won't be any volumes left, I will feel so empty in some way. Don't want to think of it. I honestly had forgotten what it was like to devour a book. I like that feeling.

- I got my Amazon order. 26 books. Eventually. So I guess, I won't feel too empty next month. I will have several occasions to tell you more about those books... Can't wait to read them all. Can't wait to sort them out in my beautiful bookshelf I haven't bought yet...

- I can't wait Spring to be there. I need more light, more sun, more heat. I want more "bright and shinny" things. I want to wear dresses. I want to have picnic. I want to walk without scarf and hat. Yeah I want a lot of things...

- And because of Spring, I have to well... be careful with my health and my weight. I miss sports, I miss swimming and I do have to take the time to do it again. For that matter, I don't like to be weak as I am right now. If I need something, I have to do it, no matter what. Period. Besides sport is good for everything, heart, health, mental. So let's go ! No more false excuses.

- I need projets to hold on to. From the simpliest to the craziest. I need to have a reason to get up in the mornings and to know that I am going to do things, nice things, great things but things anyway. I'm sorry, I will be the moaner today but I just can't bear my work or my non work to be more accurate. I can't bear to be at the office and to wait till the day it's over. I need to do something, something good. I have to think seriously of that matter...

- I cross the fingers for the answer I'm supposed to have this week about the job interview I had last Monday. Come what may...

Have a very nice week !

My first Tag

2009-03-13T08:00:00.006+01:00

As I have been tagged by my lovely Ptitezoudesbois, I have no choice but doing this tag that I found nice and funny. I've already seen it on Facebook. Sometimes, chance does things right... But see by yourself !

So here is my record cover. My song is entitled "Next door's imaginary friend" by the group "Orny" (and not Horny but yes I do think of it) which happens to be a town in Moselle (I'm sure, you didn't know that, did you ?). As I don't have photoshop yet, I did this photomontage with powerpoint (yes shame on me but we can be surprised by the possibilities of this tool when it's well used).

I didn't cheat with the picture, even if it wouldn't have been my first choice but taking into account the song's name and even the group's name, I can say, it does fit, doesn't it ?

I know, this tag has travelled a lot in the blogosphere but if QueenC and Romance want to do it, it would be great.

Have a very nice friday !

Music of my heart

2009-03-12T08:00:00.002+01:00

I couldn't live without music. For every moment in my life, from the happiest to the sadest, there has always been a song. Music is my spiritual food. I know, it can seem a little bit too much but I do need music. Music is what makes me happy, no matter what.

I never played musical instruments, despite flute. But I can't really say that I played it... I don't sing well and for a long time, I even sang wrong but it doesn't matter, there are so many other people who are just talented and gifted. It's not because you like something that you have to be good at it, right ?

The first concert I went to was the Spice Girls'. Yeah, I know but I'm fine with that. In fact, I don't particularly like concerts. The truth is I need space and time to enjoy music. I need to do it on my own way and it doesn't include loud music and wild crowd.I like discovering singers or groups. I like getting to know their musical universe, reading their lyrics.

I'm emotionally connected to music. Music is this thing always there with me, no matter who I'm with, where I am or how I'm feeling. Music can be painful, music can heal, music does understand everything because the truth is that there will always be a song for what you feel. And that's pretty comforting in some way...

Music makes me feel alive.

Cat eyes

2009-03-11T08:00:00.003+01:00

That is exactly the reason why :

1° I love my bridge camera and all its functions.

2° I do need to take more time taking photographs and learning to do it better and better.

3° The cat of my Love is one of the most wonderful cats I've ever seen.

4° I can't wait to have mine !

5° I love green eyes !

I wish you to have a very nice day !

My first encounter with Chanel

2009-03-10T09:00:00.001+01:00

Last friday for the first time of my life, I went to a Chanel shop. I waited 24 years to open its doors. I guess, it means that no matter your age, everything's still possible...

I first heard about Chanel when I was a teenager. My parents had this friend, a fashion journalist who always had many gifts. I remember when she told me to choose whatever I wanted in this huge bag full of make-up and perfumes. I chose Chanel without even knowing what this brand was, if their products will suit me. I chose Chanel. I was something like 14.

After that of course, I learnt the value of things, especially the Chanel make-up... I read the story of Gabrielle and I contented myself with dreaming or shopping in duty free shops !

I don't like all the Chanel products, though. To be honest, there are some things that I find coarse and even vulgar. And well, there are other things I do find classy and wonderful. Especially those with the Camelia flowers... And if they can be purple or black, it's even more perfect... Chanel jewelry is so beautiful.

Of course, I haven't bought anything. Chanel is indecently expensive and buying wasn't the aim of my visit after all. But I spend a very nice moment and I had the possibility to admire the objects (because there are several) of my dreams, in real. And that was exactly what I was looking for...

Dreaming doesn't cost anything, does it ?

Job interview !

2009-03-09T08:00:00.000+01:00

By the time you read this article, I will be on my way for a job interview... Yeah, you read correctly. A job interview despite the crisis. So I have no choice but succeed in that. No pressure, no stress, not at all. Just this feeling that I should better not screw that occasion because it's not likely to happen again...

Ok, I am freaking out.

Twilight

2009-03-06T08:00:00.003+01:00

Little Sister lent me the first book of the Twilight saga from Stephenie Meyer. "Eventually", you may say...

It has always been like that for those things (books, films or even clothes) that everybody likes. I'm taking my time. I'm doing things at my own pace. And in the same time, when some things are such a success, I have to see by myself. It's no because everyone likes it that I will like it but it's not because everyone likes it that I won't either !

First of all, it's really easy to read. I'm almost done with Fascination and have only started yesterday. We can't deny it, it's entrhalling. Every chapter is written in order that we need know what will happen next. Every chapter tries to keep the reader in suspense.
More or less successfully, I gotta say. Despite the suspense, things, actions and people as they're described are just well...expected. Until now, I haven't had any surprises. But that's not such a big deal. I guess, this book speaks to the part of me which is still 15. And I'm ok with that. I won't lie, even if it's girly, even if some sentences made me burst out laughing alone in the metro because they were so full of sillyness, even if it's aimed at teenagers and that I'm not it anymore, I kind of like reading this book. I won't be my favorite one, for sure but I do have fun reading it. It's kind of cute actually.
It's not "high" literature, though. Not at all. I'm sorry, I don't want to offend anyone but I won't compare it with books of the talented JK. Rowling. She knows how to write, whereas Stephenie Meyer well just writes...

Of course, I'm only reading the first book and my opinion is likely to evolve but I wanted to share it with you. As you may have noticed, I'm in my "reading phase". Like finding back a very old friend and asking myself how I managed to live such a long time without him...

Black and pink necklace

2009-03-04T08:45:00.003+01:00

Like Petite Marquise and her earrings or Emeline, I'm now the owner of a wonderful black and pink necklace created by Fee Clochette. I hope, you all know her and her jewelries and if you don't, just follow the link. Because in addition to her wonderful pictures and talent, her website and what it includes do worth the trip.

The hardest thing with her creations is to resist buying all of them. Lucky me, I have favorite colors I'm wearing all the time. So it helps me to restraint my choice. But not matter what you like, what is your fashion style, there will be something for you. Fee Clochette, as her name underlines it, transforms things into magic. Everything becomes poetic and extraordinary.

Her creations are a call for dreaming. And that's why I like them so much.

Serial reader

2009-03-03T10:45:00.005+01:00

I order 26 books on Amazon the other day. I can't remember the last time I bought so many books in the same time. I can't wait to have them, to put them in my bookshelf and to read them of course.

I was thinking of doing that since last week. I remember when I was a child and when I had to read a book for school. I remember how magical it was when my mother was saying to me : "don't move honey, I'll be back" and that she came back with exactly this book. There were always many books at home. I was fascinated by them and I guess, my love for reading started there. I don't have children yet but having my favorite books around me is conforting. I can't imagine a home without books. It's like a part of my universe.

Before ordering them, I made a list. You know, I'm a huge fan of doing lists. I already have many books, mostly bought when I was in high school. There are about 100 books I want to have by the end of the year. So I should better start now...

Choosing books is very personal in some way. I discovered different literature blogs and it's always interesting to have opinion of others. My list is mostly made of some classical and actual books and there're some less famous books I do like, books which make me remember of special time or special moments. The point with books is that you never had enough. There are always new books, new writters and that's exactly the thing I prefer about reading. Reading has no end.

And you, if you had to choose, which books would you absolutely have at home ?

A great week end !

2009-03-02T12:35:00.003+01:00

For a perfect week end like the last I spend, you will need :

- Friends, as many as possible

- Sun and spring spirit

- Wonderful places

- Delicous food and drinks

- Magical creations

- Many bursts of laugthers

- Endless discussions about different subjects

- This feeling of being happy to be together

I would like to thank you all the persons I met this week end. For their kindness,for this obvious feeling I felt, as if I've already known them and for having welcomed me so warmly and nicely.

I met wonderful people. And I hope, there will be many occasions to see them again.

"I told you to be patient, I told you to be fine"

2009-02-27T08:00:00.005+01:00

This week wasn't particularly easy. The current job I'm doing is just...well...not for me. Or I'm not for this job. As you want. The point is that's hard. The positive point is that I know, it won't last because I'm doing things for that matter. The truth is I want it not to last at all. I know, I'm demanding. I know, I have to be patient so I'm trying.

I'm someone active. I need to be busy. I like working on many projects, thinking quickly, being in contact with people and creating things. I was used to that since my third year of college. I like learning, yes I do. I like discovering. The truth is I'm not doing any of those things right now and I miss them so much.

And I don't care of people who think I shouldn't be complaining because "you know what, there are many people who are unhappier than you". That's my blog and if some people don't want to listen to me, at least my blog will. (Of course, I have people in my life to be there and to support). And for the record, I know, that I don't have many reasons to complain in comparison with others. I'm aware of that, I'm not a a spoiled little girl.

I like perfection and I shouldn't because perfection just doesn't exist. Being happy means looking beyond the imperfections. But I'm not able to pretend being fine when I'm not. Sometimes enough is enough and I just need to say it out loud.

But what makes me particularly happy is the week end about to come. Full of nice moments and meetings. I can't wait, I'm excited, and to be honest a little bit scary too...

No matter what your week has been like, I wish to all of you a wonderful week end !

Once upon a time

2009-02-26T08:00:00.002+01:00

When I was a student, I read, a lot. But only for my studies. I guess, I didn't take the time to read by pleasure. I honestly forgot what it was like to devour a book and to loose the notion of time by reading it.

Reading had become something like an obligation. There were historical books I had to put on file. There were politics books I had to read to write my essay. There were english vocabulary books I had to know by heart.There were economics books I just hated. And from time to time, because my mother bought one or because one of my friend, which is fond of reading, talked me about another, I read for me. But it was not obvious. I guess, I had such a few free time for me when I was a student that I somehow associated reading with pressure, stress and obligation. Of course, I was plenty of wrong but it explained why I had for several years this break-up with what I can call my very first love.

I could read by the age of 5, before entering school. For years, I was a bookworm. I read many books too young. But I just couldn't stop me. When I was a child, I had this friend with whom I could spend the entire afternoon with her, reading our books together without talking. I did my first internship in junior high school in the public library. I was totally in love with books.

I wanted to become a writer and when people were saying that it wasn't a job, I assured them that it was for me. I wrote since I was able to take a pen in my hand. Diaries, short stories. There was a time I needed to write to feel fine, to feel myself.

Reading, writing, aren't those two things totally connected in some way ? I need to learn again this love of reading. I registered again in the public library, it was a first step. I do like having more time now to read what I want to. Step by step.

But concerning writing, I don't honestly know if I would be ever able to write again . Even with this blog, I couldn't imagine to write it in French. For the simple reason that I don't find words anymore. It's not natural. It does require efforts for me. I don't know how it comes that I've lost this ability.

I feel like...

2009-02-25T08:00:00.005+01:00

Today, I feel like :

- Skipping work, not seeing the moaner guy again, not being behind this stupid desk and not doing this stupid work. Make my Love skipp work too...

- Not taking any public transportation, not being near people who haven't actually seen a shower since last year.

- Having time and at least taking it. Time for having a decent breakfast and for following my nutritionnist's advices. What I haven't done for a moment. Time for seeing a friend of mine I haven't seen since November. Can you believe that ?

- Painting, baking, singing, dancing, doing nice things...

- Going to swimming-pool to evacuate all the stress of last weeks. I miss it. Not the stress, but the swimming pool.I need to do sports.

- Thinking or dreaming of some weekends I could organize : London this spring, going back to Berlin this summer... I need some projects to hold on to.

And you, what do you feel like today ?

The Best job in the world

2009-02-24T08:34:00.011+01:00

As we know it, working is a major part of our day and of our life. Which is why having a fulfilling job is so important. A few days ago, I read some article I found funny and in some way interesting too. Let me share it with you.

The tourism department in Australia Queensland state has dedicated an entire website to seeK applicants for the position of "The Caretaker of the Islands of the Great Barrier". You think, it's a joke. Let me tell you more...

Described as "the best job in the world", the major aim of this six month position is to promote the island and to discover what it has to offer. It also includes different duties such as : reporting weekly on a blog by taking photographs and writing articles but also feeding fishes, cleaning the pool or enjoying beaches. Hard job, isn't it ?

Education and experience requirements are not so high : adventurous attitude, passion for outdoor activities and good english skills of course. In fact, requirements for the job are completely vague.The application process is original because applicants must create a short (60 seconds) video in order to explain why they're the best person for this job.

I'm sorry to tell you guys that the application process has been closed on the 22nd of January. What a pity ! I'm sure, we would all have fit for this job, wouldn't we ?

The most unbelievable is that the Tourism Queensland recieved more than 34000 application forms. Yeah, you read that figure. The first short list of 50 candidates must be announced next Monday...

Of course, if you don't want to wait to know if the best job in the world has choosen you, you can plan some days off to see by yourself and enjoy the location without working. I don't know for you but I will be very happy there for a few days or weeks...

Have a nice day !

Phone call

2009-02-23T08:00:00.003+01:00

The other day someone called me. Someone I really care of. Someone I've known for almost seven years now.

She called me because she needed help, because she needed advices, because she needed to be heared. Because even during difficult situations, laughing make us feel so much better.

I've seen her grow up. When I first met her, she was a child. I followed her teenager crisis very closely. I was there when her first German mark was above the average. I was there when her parents didn't understand anything because they were parents. I was there when she went to high school, scared of losing her friends. I was there when she has her first boyfriend, her first Love story and her first break-up. Six years of interrupted private lesson one time a week do create very close links, more than you can imagine...

It's amazing to think of those tiny insignificant things relationships can stem from, don't you think ? You place an ad to give private lessons, without even thinking to meet someone you will become so close. Someone who can't wait to see your new home, someone who wants to be there if you ever get married. It's like magic in fact.

I like when life just surprises us this way...

Saturday's recipe

2009-02-21T08:00:00.001+01:00

Today, some friends should come by for a snack around 4.00. I know, like children. But it's a nice occasion of being together and sharing our sweet taste.

I plan to bake some molten chocolate cake. It's what we call in french "un mi cuit ou coulant au chocolat". This dessert is aimed at chocolate lovers, I'm telling you. I've baked it many times and I have never been disappointed until now. It's simple, easy and everyone seems to ask for it, especially my Love.

Molten chocolate cake recipe

Ingredients

- 110g dark and high quality chocolate

- 120g sugar

- 40g flour

- 80g butter

- 3 eggs

Steps

- Preheat your owen at 200°C.

- Melt the chocolate and butter by using a boiler.

- Mix together the eggs and the sugar till the preparation becomes white.

- Add the flour without melting too much.

- Add the chocolate mixed with butter.

- Pour half your mould and put a chocolate square in the middle then pour the other half.

- Cook for about 13 minutes : the top of the cake should be cooked but the inside must be melting.

- Don't unmold : those cakes have to be eaten directly in their moulds. I recommend to choose small size moulds by the way because those desserts are not particularly light.

- Let it cool down a little bit and enjoy.

Remarks

You can serve those cakes with an orange and raspberries fruit salad. The contrast between hot chocolate and fresh fruit worths the taste !

If you don't like the taste of dark chocolate, don't hesitate to bake them with milk chocolate.

You can serve them with custard too.

Pictures will come quickly. I'm well aware that a recipe without picture is not totally a recipe...

I wish you to have a very nice week end !

He is just not that into you...

2009-02-20T08:00:00.007+01:00

Yesterday evening, I went to the Movie with two friends to watch the film entitled "He is just not that into you".

First of all, it's totally the kind of films you have to see with your girl friends. Because of all the references of typically girl behaviors. "Of course, he will call you back, sweetie. I just think, he may have lost your number or leave town for a few days". "You know sweetheart, my friend Jamie, the first time she met her husband, he didn't call back and now they have been married for what ten years, so don't worry, he will just call".

It's a nice film, funny but also really accurate in its ways of describing how men and women can be different. How sometimes we all have difficulties to understand each other, to read signs, to express things or to recognize that there weren't any signs at all. It's a little bit caricatured, for sure but not so much.

We saw the evolution of different couples and people who are all interconnected to each other. The married man who didn't want to get married and to have a crush in the supermarket. The almost perfect man who will actually be perfect if he wanted to get married. The Don Juan who doesn't give a damn about girls' feelings. The nice girl who does want to meet someone and who just can't bear anymore when the man say 'I'll call" and when he doesn't. The truth is, we all can identify ourselves to at least a character in this movie. To a certain degree of course. Girls who have never awaited a phone call desperately during night and day, raise your hand ! A special thought for the outstanding performance of the actress Ginnifer Goodwin who was amazing.

This film is about love but it's also about friendship. It's about this thing, like an impulse, that push all the girls to call their best friends when their lovely boyfriend haven't called. To gather and to try to understand even when there's nothing left to understand.

Boys and girls are different. I know, I'm not telling you anything. But this film has a nice way of remembering it... It's not a masterpiece but I promise, if you want to relax and laugh with friends, it's the film you have to watch. And if you're brave enough, bring your boyfriend with you. He may be surprised and not only by Scarlett Johansson ;)

Psycho...technical tests !

2009-02-18T08:00:00.000+01:00

For the next two days, I'm going to practice doing psycho-technical tests. I bought two books yesterday to help me for that matter. And you know what, I do need to be helped because those tests, they are evil, just evil. Trust me !

I gave up mathematics seven years ago, when I was in high school and when I chose to focus on what I was good at. And it doesn't included mathematics. In college, I studied economy and yes, there were figures. But those tests are just worst than both mathematics and economy. Because they include figures and logical reasoning. I'm not kidding, evil, I'm telling you !

So since yesterday afternoon, I'm trying to understand, I'm trying to get some logic. Sometimes, I just burst out laughing, after spending five minutes on some geometrical figure. Two days won't clearly be enough. But at least, I'm trying.

HR area is a very interesting one... But I have to admit, that I don't understand all its tools. Psycho-technical tests are supposed to give information about our ability to understand, to analyze and to sum-up in a more or less logical way.
It's just a pity that I can't explain to the HR people that I have problems with right and left. And that therefore, I do have problems with spaces and everything that can be in. Or maybe it's just better like that (maybe they wouldn't be please to recruit me)...

I guess, the only thing I have to do right now is to work and to cross the fingers (both right and left :)...

And you, have you ever been forced to do those things ?

My mother and I

2009-02-17T08:00:00.004+01:00

Today, I'm going back at my mother's house. I'm going back home, even if you know, I had some difficulties with the concept of "home".

I haven't been there since three weeks now. I went to my Love's. I needed to take some space, I needed to think, I needed to calm down. It was my choice to leave. It is my choice to come back. It's just that I'm scary.

I love my mum. More than anything. She is everything for me. She was there, all the time I needed it. She is the only parent I had. I owe her so much.

But maybe we don't love each other the right way. We don't have what I can call a healthy and balance relationship. It's alway "too much". Too much love, too much pain, too much tears and even too much words. I wish I could erase the "too much" of our relationship. I wish, we could just be fine.

Mother and daugther relationship aren't easy or simple. I know, it's time for me to go, to have my own home, to let her be maniac about things I don't care, to let her ask for things she does care. It's only a question of time. I'm sure, thing will be better when I will be gone.

But meanwhile, I and she have to deal with each other. Are three weeks enough to prevent us from doing the same mistakes ? I do hope so...

And you, how are you feeling about your mother ?

Little pieces of me

2009-02-16T00:00:00.003+01:00

You know we all have our weird habits and funny things we do. I thought, it could be fun to share some of them with you.

- I always start reading books by their ends. By that I mean, the two or three last sentences. Can't help doing that.

- I'm neither right or left-handed. Or maybe I'm both. I mean, I write with my right hand because I was forced to in school. Right or left don't make any difference for me. It can be very practical sometimes. And other times, for example during my driving licence exam, it's just a nightmare.

- I don't eat meat. And if I could, I would stop eating fish too. But well, I can't for my health. And I know that one day, I will be forced to eat it back.

- I'm afraid of wasps. It's like a phobia. I can't bear their annoying sound when I'm eating outside during summer I guess, it's the kind of feeling you can't really control.

- I'm totally in love with the purple color. When I am in shops, it's like my eyes couldn't see anything else. Or maybe just pink and red. It's really strange in fact.

- Baking makes me feel good. After a eventful and stressful day, I do like being in the kitchen alone and thinking of what I could make.

- I have a soft toy called "Pepe". The first my Love gave to me. And it's the most traveller dog I have ever met because I bring it with me anywhere I go. I remember the only time I almost lost it. Fallen on the road during our road trip to South. Call me crazy, you can...

- I collect postcards from all over the world. I have about 150 and always want more ! I don't need to ask my friends anymore. Anytime someone's travelling, I know, I will get some of them.

- I'm really sensitive to smells. I guess, I couldn't have worked in a perfume shop.

- I did figure skating for six years and I followed dance lessons for four years. It taught me a lot, especially endurance and discipline.

I wish you a very nice week !

Friday, the 13th

2009-02-13T08:00:00.002+01:00

Are you supersticious ?

I don't think, I am concerning Friday, the 13th. I mean, how could I ? I had my driver licence on this date. And trust me, it was just kind of hopeless. And I passed it. Against all odds, I did it. So I guess, it prevented me from anything but gracefulness for all the Friday 13th of my life !

Supersticions are often linked to our social and cultural environment. They can be stronger and more important in some countries than others. For example, you will never find the 13 seat in Boeing airplanes...Supersticions are interesting for what they teach us about the Human being.

I'm not a rational person either. Because I'm fond of astrology and I'm reading the cards. I believe in the energy things and people can give us. Maybe I'm a little bit of superticious, though. I mean, I prefer the good supersticions you know. Those which bring luck. Like the four leaves clover. I focus on the good, it's as simple as that...

May your Friday be bright and shiny...

Miracles do exist, miracles do happen...

2009-02-12T15:58:00.002+01:00

I passed it, I passed it ! Oh my God, I can believe it. In fact,t's just unbelievable...I passed my exam. You remember this exam.

I tried to log in on the site forty times today. It was always the same message over and over again. Results were supposed to come today. But during midday, I learn that they might be coming only on Monday, the 16th. Monday !

So today was a long long day, I mean even longer than other day. Around 2.30, I tried another time to log in, without even looking at my screen. And my heart just stopped (it's a metaphore of course) : "We are pleased to announce you that you passed the exam of...".

And the funniest thing is that I was surrounded by both my boss and the moaner. Who are not the funny kind and who know even less that I take this exam (I suppose, they believe I'm happy by doing what I'm doing...well).So it basically meant I couldn't burst into tears. So I just left the office, with no words, went downstairs and then burst into tears while calling my Love, who has tears in his eyes too...

I don't remember honestly having wanted something so badly. And though, I do want things. I don't do anything without will. Will is my adrenaline rush, you know... It's what makes me move on and overcome my limits...

It's only a first step, passing this exam. A long road is lying ahead and I can't promise, there won't be any trials. But this exam, I don't need to think of it anymore. I pass it, it means that legally I can do this job. Taking into account the gloomy context of this year 2009, finding a job in this area won't be easy, I know that but no matter how much time, I will need, I want to succeed.

I'm happy, I'm so happy. I can't describe this feeling. It's beyond words, it's beyond anticipation and imagination. It's right now, just here and I'm gonna enjoy it at least till the end of the week...

Valentine's day

2009-02-12T08:00:00.000+01:00

Valentine's day... Those three words give rise to a strong debate I guess. There are those strongly against it, those really fond of it and I guess, a majority of people who just don't know and take life and Valentine's day as they come.

I'm not saying that to boast myself, not at all. But I haven't spend a Valentine's day alone since several years. And while thinking about it, the thing is that my Valentine's day depend most of the time on my mood.

I remember this time of my life when I felt unable to really be with someone, as a couple. The last thing I wanted was to celebrate it. There was a year I just skipped this day. Doesn't want to hear from it, to see flowers and red hearts. A posteriori, I know why I reacted this way. It couldn't bear Valentine's day at this time because I couldn't feel love, or at least I didn't want to. I also remember my first Valentine's day and the red rose I got. I remember the presents I gave and those I offered. I remember when I was 17 and that I wanted "an anti Valentine's day" evening but still an evening. I remember one of the most beautiful cards my Love as ever written to me. He is not a fan of writing and elaborating on feelings. So it did mean something to me.

To be honest, I do not like this effusion of red things and chocolate boxes since the end of January. It's like a cliché, you know. As if everyone has to do the same thing again and again. And how do people who can't bear red color ??

Seriously, I don't like the commercial target of this day. It's the same thing for Mother's day or Easter or even Christmas. I think, we have to see beyond that. Yes, there are commercial targets, that's for sure. But there are especially moments with people we love. And for me, that's what Valentine's day really means. Moments...

To me, Valentine's day is about love but not exclusively about being a couple. I mean, it's the day, you can express your love and say to someone that you do love him, even if you're not with him. Valentine's day is for me a day when you let love spread around you.

That's why I wish to all of you, the single one, the married one, the not knowing one a Valentine's day which looks like you. May this day be what you want it to be...and let me know about your feelings concerning it...

Facebook

2009-02-11T08:00:00.000+01:00

It took me a very long time to register on Facebook. No need to explain what is it anymore. Everyone knows and has Facebook. This American social network which is now five years old. A social network, what is that supposed to mean ? In real, it means that people you hated some years ago in high school can find you back to know what you've become. It means, that some people are fond of showing undecent pictures of themselves and I do hope, their boss isn't in their friends list. It's probably the unique place of the world where you actually can have 500 friends...and never talk to the major part.

Ok, it's a little bit harsh for a presentation. Sorry.To sum up, Facebook is a tool to keep in touch with people of your life, by sending mails, writing messages on their walls, belonging to groups or uploading funny pictures. Yeah, that's kind of that.

I was curious about Facebook. Last year, all people of my class couldn't stop talking about it. So I decided to try. So I'm on facebook and so what ? First, it was funny and even great to find back very good friends of mine with whom I lost contact. Then, it was strange to see people who will never be what I can call "friend" to me add me as "their friend". So I refuse them. At the end, I just got tiry of that. Of the voyeurism it implies. Maybe I can't deal with it. Maybe I'm not confident enough. Sometimes, I admit it, Facebook makes me feel as if I was lagging behind. And I don't like this feeling... I'm not saying that Facebook has only negative sides, that's not true. It's just my way of reacting, I guess...

There aren't pictures of me, of my friends, of my Love on Facebook. It's my private garden. And private life isn't what Facebook defends the most... I don't have many friends on Facebook and you know what ? I'm fine with that. Because I prefer real friends in my life that virtual friends on my Facebook list.

I don't mean, it's always like that. I do have friends who happen to be in my facebook friends list too. But maybe, I'm not fond enough of this form of communication. Maybe it's not my way of seeing relationship. Technologies must be a pretext, a mean to know people, not an end.

So the question is : why actually being on Facebook ? The truth is, I have friends coming from very different places. I traveled, I studied and I worked in so many different places that Facebook let me have a look on those different environments. To keep contact but I mean real contact with them. Something planned with some friends ? Just write on the wall and it's organized. Wanna news from my college pal living in New York, I just email her. It's practical, clearly but I could do without it, clearly too.

And you, Facebook : loving or loathing ?

Work, patience and mother in law...

2009-02-10T08:00:00.004+01:00

This evening, I will go to the flat my mother in law bought last summer. To finalize some things left to paint after work.

It's a very long story indeed, full of new turns and unexpected developments. To summarize, the flat she bought is very nice...after nearly six months of hard work. My Love and I put a lot of efforts and energy into this project. It was really interesting AND exhausting. I mean, no need to explain it I guess. Anyone who has ever do building and decorating work from A to Z for a flat which isn't even yours know what I mean...It's not over yet. But I think, the worst is behind.

I've learned how to tile, to sand, to paint, to put parquet floor. But among all the things I've learned, the most important one is that I learn to be patient, or at least to try...Trust me, there 's not better way than six months of hard work in a building to learn you something that looks like patience...

I like working with my hands and I like seeing results from what I've just created. I just don't like waiting for the results to come. So I guess, I went soft with many things thanks to this experience. I will be lying if I didn't told you, that I can't wait to the works to be done. Because it will mean that I will be able to move in with my Love in the house my mother in law had. (I told you, it was complicated...)But in comparison with August, I did go soft...

On Sunday, I was in this flat. Most of the time, it's a little bit depressing you know to be there all the Sunday long. But this time, it was different. I realized how much we did since the very beginning. I mean, I go to this flat one time a week but it was as if I hadn't realized before all the changes that had occured.

My mother in law is one the person on this planet I love the most. For so many reasons. Because first she gave birth to the Love of my Life... Because she was there for me anytime I needed it. It's like my second mum in fact. I like her kindness, her balance, her softness. I admire her sincerely for everything she's done and everything she went through. I do hope, she will be happy there...

2009-02-09T14:24:00.003+01:00

I have just come back from my lunch. I like the way this week begin. I really do.

I'm feeling fine. I mean, friendship is amazing. I mean, everyone knows that but it's just that there are things that remind you strongly of this fact. It made me feel so good to see my friend, to talk about our plans, our fears, to laugh and to hope together. I know, she understand what I'm going through these days because she is too. And despite the negative sides of our situation, knowing that some people are there, to listen, to rely on, to share with,

I guess, it does make me happy...

Pink color glasses

2009-02-09T10:25:00.003+01:00

You remember my new philosophy, don't you ? So a new week is about to start. And I know, some things haven't changed since Friday so I will have to deal with them. So in order to do that properly, I'm going to list all the positive things I'm gonna do this week. To give me strenght and hope for the next days.

- Meeting different friends for lunch. It's a nice way of having a nice break during the day, to forget work for a few time and to share nice moments.

- Buying a new beautiful jewel made by the talented Fee Clochette. Can't help. The bracelet I want is just so beautiful. But I will tell you more tomorrow...

- Going to the swimming pool. I haven't been there for three weeks now and I really miss this peaceful feeling. Being fine and relaxed with my body and myself.

- Going to the Movies to see "He's just not that into you" probably with some friends during another girls night out.

- Baking. My Love asked for a pastry the other day. With apples. So I plan to bake a "home made" apples cake.

Well, I guess, all those things are positive enough to make me see this week through pink color glasses, right ?

I wish you to have a wonderful week...

Crêperie de Josselin

2009-02-08T08:00:00.004+01:00

I think, it's a good idea to share some good adresses in this blog. As you may know now, I'm fond of lists and I used to have a list of my favorite restaurants.

And because February is a "pancakes times" with Candlemass, I'm going to tell you about a very famous Crêperie in Montparnasse. Montparnasse is well know for its several breton creperies. It can be hard to made up his mind in this context. Plus, there is some kind of war to know which is the best. Location, quality, choices and of course kindness of the waiters (which can be problematic in Paris) are all taken into account.

So the Crêperie de Josselin (Josselin's Creperie if you prefer) is located in rue du Montparnasse and you may notice it because of the queue of people waiting outside every evenings and even during weekdays. When you enter inside, you're struck by the good smell of cooked pancakes full of cheese, vegetables and sweet things. So if you're not hungry when you come it, trust me, you will be. And while waiting, you can see two or three people cooking pancakes on the right side of the room (it's a clever way to know what you want to order before actually getting the menu). The room itself is overcrowded with long wood tables where you can listen other's conversations as easily as yours. It's very convivial in a Brittany like environment.

Service is quick, even during rush time and waiters are nice, even if they don't have of course plenty of time to chat. And the crêpes, oh my god the crêpes are just one of the best I've ever eaten. I don't like too sophisticated crepes, I mean, only egg and cheese and after that a chocolate one. So yummy. But there is a large choice, for all tastes. Full of butter, that's for sure...

French crêpes are one of my favorite meal. So I promise, if you're a fan like me, you won't be disappointed by going there. The only requirements are to not be an angoraphobic and to have other than a credit card to pay (no credit card taken there).

Creperie de Josselin

67 rue du Montparnasse Paris

Metro : Edgar Quinet

Ps : I'm sorry, I didn't have any pictures to show. I wanted to bring my camera with me but it was too heavy. And pictures with my compact camera are just too bad in comparison with what I can do with the other. Next time !

Week end mood

2009-02-07T08:00:00.006+01:00

By the time you read this, I will be on my way to help a very good friend of mine moving out in what we can call pretty sad conditions.

To be honest, I first had other plans for my Saturday. But when a friend is in need, it's totally natural to be there for him, to help him as much as I can.

I like weekends, maybe more than weekdays, taking into account the "high" satisfaction given by my job these days. But life is not only about week ends, life should be any time, no matter the day. And I guess, at the moment, my daily routine is not exactly what makes me happy.

And weirdly enough, the thing I love the most about week end is to work during them. To have this shifting working hours. Ok, it's not only about shifting hours, it's mostly about the job I did with shifting hours. But God, I miss it, I miss it so much that sometimes, it's unbearable, that I just can't think of this awful possibility that I may never do this job again.

I'm just done here with the whole "job of my life" thing because well it's just turn the knife in the wound.

I wish you to have a very nice week end...Mine is going to be great because I want it to be. (See, that's my new philosophy. Persuasive, isn't it ?)

Magical world

2009-02-06T08:00:00.003+01:00

As I've told you, I'm reading Harry Potter. Again. When I'm saying, I'm reading it, it means that I've started since the very beginning. I'm currently reading the third volume : Harry Potter and the prisoner of Askhaban. I wish I could spend the entire day reading it. Skip my job, avoid my dear boss and read... Dreaming is good.

To be honest, I took me some time to become a fan. When the whole "Harry Potter" thing started, I fiercely took the stand of being against all this. It took me very long indeed to change my mind. In major part, because I was a stubborn teenager. But then comes a day when you don't know why you're against that anymore. Plus I started to think that all this sucess could really mean something. Like an incredibly gifted author. And I was right...

I don't know how to describe it but this reading make me feel as if I belong to a very special world, a magic one, a funny one, sometimes a sad one but in any cases, an extraordinary one. I devoured all the books, eager to discover what will happen next. And I recognize myself in the character of Hermione, at least for the school matter. I felt with all the characters and for those who think that Harry Potter is only a book for child, I answer that they're fully mistaken. Harry Potter is a book for everyone, in the condition to still have this childhood part and to believe that somewhere, flying brooms, Butterbeer and Animagus do exist.

No misunderstanding though, I understand people who don't. My Love didn't want to hear from Harry Potter till we went to the Movies and saw "The Order of the Phoenix". And he's still my Love... By the way, he did like the film...

I can't help, guys,I'm a huge fan...

6 billion Others

2009-02-05T00:27:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, I had the chance to go to the Yann-Arthus Bertrand exhibition at the Grand Palais "6 billion Others".

I'm a huge fan of Yann Arthus Bertand for all his actions and his involvement towards sustainable development (thanks to the association he created "Good Planet"and also because I discovered him when I was writing my thesis this summer which was about photography, travels and fair tourism...

The vocation of this project is to get to know each other, thanks our differences and our similarities. Because coming from New York, Bamako or Islamabad, some values, some things are universal and understandable by everyone. No matter our language, our religion and our way of living. "6 billion others" is a journey through humanity, diversity and respect. I strongly recommend to go there (you have till next week, on the 12 of February). You won't regret it.

This exhibition offers about 20 hours of testimonials coming from 75 countries and in more than 45 languages ! So severals visits are needed to see everything. All those films are divided into different categories. As I didn't have plenty of time, I selected the subjects I was the most interested in : love (how to make it last), happiness and being home. I was very touched by all those testimonials, some funny, some serious, some sad too. It can sometimes be so hard to talk about feelings, painful memories or even good one.

I'm not exagerating when I'm saying that this exhibition change our way of seeing the world. It reminded me how much I love discovering other points of view, sharing with people coming from abroad. It did remind me where I come from, why I want some things so hard right now. It's exactly the kind of things which make me believe in the Human being. It made me feel very good actually...

Fed up !

2009-02-04T06:00:00.002+01:00

I'm sorry but today I'm fed up with so many things...

I'm fed up with my work, with this impression of being useless and with this feeling of knowing that I'm in the wrong place.

I'm fed up with my boss and its statistics and its graphs. I told him, I didn't like figures. Maybe I should remind him of that. Again.

I'm fed up with the fact of having someone giving me orders. I don't like orders nor authority. I know, I know, I will always have them and I should probably get used to it.

I'm fed up with people showing no respect at all. Respect for me is the starting point of everything.

The truth is among anything, I'm fed up with waiting. Oh my God, I'm so fed up with that. I need to know. Right or wrong, I do need to get my answer and to adjust my behavior to it. I need to make plans again, to work for that again, to hope for that again but I need something here.

I'm fed up with being fed up I guess.

But despite my "fed-upness", I will do my best to spend some good time today. Being fed-up don't add anything positive after all. So...

Have a nice day, people.

"Don't let me get me"

2009-02-03T08:41:00.000+01:00

I know few women who have a balanced relationship and behavior with their body and more generally with what they see in the mirror.

For years, I belonged to this category. And it will sound wrong to say that I'm totally fine with that but still, I guess, some progress have been made. And I would like to share some thoughts about them with you.

I know, it does seem obvious but we are what we are. Perfection doesn't exist. And we have to accept that, there are some things we can't change. I will never have blue eyes nor freckles. Some parts of my body will always be well-rounded, no matter how many kilos I lost. I wish I could have long legs. But I'm just Rose and it's not the end of the world.

My point is to know ourselves because it's the only way to balance our flaws with our assets. I mean, we spend so much time and energy trying to be what we will never become and such a few time trying to become what we already are. My wardrobe is a full example of that. How many things did I buy which weren't me at all ? But those things helped me to know a little bit who I am today and what fits me. It's all about trying in fact...

We all have positive things and values. Don't let anybody make you think the contrary. Some people are so perverse that they're happy to destroy step by step your self confidence. Leave them. Such person doesn't have anything to do in your life. And on the contrary, having lovely people, always there to remember how great you're, even if you don't believe them, is a strenght. But I'm tempted to believe that it's better not to rely on someone else for our self worth. It can help but it doesn't do everything.

There's no shame of asking for help. I've stopped eating meat for several years now and last year, I decided to see a nutritionist because I knew that there were too many lacks in my diet. And she confirmed, yes she did. It wasn't awful, it was really interesting and it made me realize how wrong we can sometimes be, even with the best intention...

The tricky thing is that everything is so connected : body and spirit. And most of the time, bodies bear what spirits can't cope with, what spirit can't fix. And knowing that is for me the first step of a healthier relationship with ourselves...

Nice week end

2009-02-02T09:44:00.004+01:00

I hope you all spent a wonderful week end. Mine was so much better than the previous one.

- I saw "Revolutionary Road" again, with my Love this time. And I was really happy to share that with him and I was even happier when he told me just after : "I really liked this movie".

- I spent a very nice "girls night out" with some friends. Talking about our hopes, our dreams, about this special thing we all have in common, and laughing again and again.

- I went to my beautician. I haven't been there for a very long time and it made me remember how positive it can be to take care of myself. I have to do that more often right now.

- There's no macarons left in the house. Couldn't resist to keep them any longer. But I still can smell the savor of blackcurrant. In my head.

- I'm reading again "Harry Potter". Can't stop reading it. Just can't. I'm possessed.

- I ate yummy pancakes cooked by my Love. It was Candlemas after all...

And you, how was your week end ?

Macaron addict

2009-01-31T00:30:00.003+01:00

Yesterday, I talked to you about things I love. And it happened that a friend of mine had the nice idea to give me a wonderful gift the other day : beautiful Ladurée boxes with a selection of redberries, strawberries and blackcurrant macarons. I will say only one word : DELICIOUS...

And because I'm sure, you can't wait to see them. Here are some nice pictures to start the week end...

My "good mood pill" things

2009-01-30T08:37:00.000+01:00

When I was in high shcool, I had this habit: notebooks to write everything which had made me happy during the day. I found them back the other day in a box. It made me smile. And it made me remember this time when I knew how to seize the day and enjoy the moment. I guess, it's something we shouldn't forget.

So today, if you don't mind, I would like to share with you what are my "good mood pill" things. Some are very spiritual and mature, other are well not so much...

- Spending quality time with the people I love. Enjoying the fact to actually be together. These days, I have the chance to see many people I care for. Very good friends from my different years of college (it seems it's like for ages but I was still a student four months ago, for the record), friends I've met recently and I'm eager to know better. People are my happiness, I guess.

- Having plans, not necessarily big plans but plans anyway. Like a week end with my Love, pre-dinner drinks with his friends, tea with mine. Going to an exhibition. Learning spanish. Belonging to an association. Having my exam, living with my Love, having my cat (yeah those are big plans, sorry).

- Going to Ladurée just to admire all the yummy and beautiful pastries. Dreaming of the day when I will eat there again. I did it once with my mother and it was just so great.

- Taking photographs, painting some frames, decorating, creating something with my hands.

- Watching grey's anatomy every Friday and most of the time, when it's really brillilant and when the ending music inspired me, repeating the end of the episode again and again till I get bored. And talking of the characters as if they were friends of mine. Scary, huh.

- Cooking or even planning to cook a lovely meal for my Love or friends. I like to think about the menu, the receipes, which products I have to buy, how I'm going to present the different courses. I like searching on my numerous cook books to find what I want. I like changing receipes to make them become mine. Cooking is really relaxing for me. And I also like cooking with my Love, teaching him how to make cookies or chocolate mi cuit. I like sharing this moment with him.

- Doing lists, I'm sorry but it does make me happy. I like when everything's organized and when I can have a general view.

- Dancing alone in my bedroom and preferably on techno music or things I would never listen to in the real life. It's just that dancing out make me feel better. All the stress and the pressure seem to disappear for at least one hour.

- Sorting out my wardrobe. I know, it can seem weird but I like getting rid of some awful things I had, some fashion mistakes which now make me smile and having space for all the beautiful clothes I'm going to buy after that.

And you, do you have "good mood pill "things too ?

On strike

2009-01-29T07:33:00.001+01:00

... Not my blog of course... But everything else in France : train, metro, flights, schools. It does seem we're gonna have a "black Thursday" as well.

Brace up, people. Tomorrow it must be over.

And meanwhile we all have a good reason to arrive very late at work, without dealing with our boss' annoying comment. Life is beautiful today, isn't it ?

I'm too weak !

2009-01-28T10:01:00.001+01:00

Ok, I was unable to resist... I admit it...
And because things always happen in three, I bought my third Cashmere, a cardigan this time. And do you know, which color I chose ? Pink, of course.
This time, I'm done with Cashmere. Till the next time...

Berlin, Berlin

2009-01-27T19:54:00.000+01:00

This article is for Emeline and its dolce vita : "I hope, it will help you a little bit during you trip. I do hope, you will enjoy Berlin as much as I do. I wish you a very nice trip there."

We all have a city in the world we're in love with. A city which makes you feel like home, which makes you happy. This place you need to come back to at least once a year. For different reasons.

From all the cities I've the chance to discover, Berlin is very special to me. It's MY town. And like a pelerinage, I need to go there everytime I can. I love its contrasts, this melting pot of old and new, of hope and despair, of past and future. I love its history, I love its scars and Go knows that it has many. I love this special smell in the streets, in the station. I love its buses, I love its shops. There's something special there. It's everywhere. I can feel it, anytime. I'm in love, guys...

I'm not going to tell you what you can already find in city's guides. All the museums, the "must see" things and so on.

No, what I want to share with you is some little things you won't find in books. Some Berlin's tipps if you want. Ready ?

- What you have to know is that Berlin is a city where you can do a lot by foot, if you like walking of course because well, distances can seem very long.

- If the weather is not too cold, you have to rent a bike. It's honestly the better way to discover it, to feel it, if I may say. Everything's made for bycyclers in Berlin !

- No need to take a bus for tourists in Berlin. They're too expansive. No, what you have to do is to take the 100 or the 200 in Zoologischer Garten. Both of them will take you to all the best beautiful places of Berlin. For a more than reasonnable price, trust me. It's like 2 euros or something.

- On the contrary to what most of people think, Berlin has some culinary specialties. Yes, it has.

If unlike me, you eat meat, I'm strongly recommend you to go to the Konnopfke's Imbiss (Schönhäuser Allee44, U-Bahn 2 : Eberswalderstr) to taste what everyone (including my Love) describe as the best Currywurst" of the town.

If like me and many persons in this planet, you're fond of everything related to chocolate, there is a place you can't miss in Berlin : the Fassbender und Rausch Chocolatiers (am Gendarmenmarkt, U-Bahn 2 or 6 : Stadmitte). There's a shop where you can buy cookies, selection of tasteful chocolate, drinking chocolate and so many other things. There's a tearoom which worths the trip on the first floor. I drank there one of the best hot chocolate of my life. So tasteful, so chocolate in fact. And their selection of pastries has to be tasted too. Be careful, it's overcrowded during the afternoon...

Last but not least, I will recommend you to go to the Postdamer Arkaden which is a small mall with many shops and with a "Caffe Gelato" where you can eat yummy italian ices and especially taste some "Becher". Strawberry, mango, yoghurt. There has to be something for you.

- There is a district of Berlin I particularly like because I lived there for a few weeks : Prenzlauerberg. This district has a soul. For those who like taking pictures, there are beautiful buidlings, most of them have been recently renovated. It's lively. You have shops, you have parks. And what I like is that you have a place dedicated to culture : die Kulturbrauerei which was an old brewery. The sculpture "Liebe" you can see in my list of photographs was taken there.

- I don't know if you're keen on "photo booth". I'am and in Berlin, there are very old "photobooths", very cheap one and very funny one because your four photographs are different. Very funny with friends and love, trust me. One of them is located in Prenzlauerberg, near the Kastanien Allee. There' s this chinese shop on the corner. Ask the old lady and say "hi" from me. She will tell you where it's located. Because, well my sense of direction is lacking to explain that.

- Shopping in Berlin. This city is really cheap, in comparison with other big cities in Europe, especially Paris or London.

The KaDeWe, the equivalent of our "Galeries Lafayettes" (U-Bahn 1 or 9 : Kurfürstendamm) is famous. I recommend you to go to the last floor for all the sweets, the tea, the pastries. But honestly, every floor has to be seen.

The avenue "Unter den Linden" is well know for its many shops. But you also pay the location. I agree, it's a nice walk though.

Berlin is full of many shops. Many different shops. The best is to wander into the city and to discover them while walking and visiting. My favorite shops are decoration shops. Because you find there things you don't find anywhere else. Shops like Butler, 123 or Nanu Nana have to been visited at least once.

Well, I guess, you now have enough of Berlin. It's true, I could write and write about it. I hope, this unordinary description wasn't too boring and that you learn some things thanks to it.

But, like every other cities in the world, the better advice I could give you is to go there and to discover by yourself. Berlin is a city you have to feel. Because the feelings to be there are just too extraordinary to be described by words.

Berlin is a city which has to be experienced. Period.

Apple of my Love

2009-01-27T09:33:00.004+01:00

When the Iphone 3 G arrived on the market, I was in San Francisco. And I remember the long endless queue in front of the Apple Store. Some people had even spend the night there. Kind of unbelievable.

I love Apple. Yes for the design but not only for that. I like the fact that everyting is so intuitive, even for users who don't know this environment. I like going on the internet without thinking of the potential viruses.

The first computer I bought all alone was and is a Mac. I like the fact that even after three years, my computer seems as new as when I bought him. It's still alive and goes very well. It was first a rational choice, I wanted something portable, with a great autonomy and I had a budget I didn't want to exceed. Because taking into account their quality, Apple devices aren't not that expensive. Plus one of my best friend had one and I let me convinced by her.

In December, I bought the Iphone. Like an impulse. I entered in a shop and I say, I want it. And I had the chance to benefit from an special offer. It was fast given. And that's how I became the owner of a brand new Iphone.

I didn't need it really but I wanted to mark the occasion of my entry in the working life. I don't regret it, not at all.

The plus of my Iphone

- I like the fact of having everything in one device : my phone, my calendar, my translator, Internet, even a not so bad quality camera, my ipod. It's very very practical.

- Even if the Iphone hasn't a real GPS, it has maps and trust me, when you are totally lacking of sense of direction like me, it does save your reputation. Just a click and I know where I am and which street I should follow to arrive. There's even an application called "Around me" which tells you which are the restaurants, the movies, the bars around your location.

- I like reading some newspappers like Le Monde or the New York Times when I'm in the busy communter lines.

- There are many free applications which are funny, nice. It's a great way of customizing it.

- It has a beautiful pink dress.

The minus of my Iphone

- You can't customize it totally without jailbreaking it, which for the not geek I am, seems to be a little bit complicated.

- On the contrary of the Ibook or Macbook, it is not that much intuitive. I mean, it's easy to use but there are cleary some things you can't guess if you don't go on Iphone forums and so on.

- The SMS system could be improved clearly

I still got a lot of things to learn about my Iphone but to sum up, I'm really happy to have it. I know, it's just a thing but I'm a sentimental with my apple devices.

Terrible week end !

2009-01-25T09:00:00.000+01:00

My week end is not over but all I can say is that it's not a great one, not at all. I only hope, it won't get worst till Sunday evening.

It started with a quarell with the Love of my Life. Out of nothing. Because the truth is, we don't have any reasons to argue together. We agree about almost everything and even if perfection doesn't exist, he does look like it. But me, it's another story. I'm nothing but flaws and worries which make me freak out, as usual.

There are some days in life you wish you could be different. Today is a day like that. Today, I wish I could be strong, confident in the future, satisfied with what I have right now and less selfish and destructive.

And as if one argue wasn't enough, I had a quarell with my mother. A strong one. A painful one. But I deserved it. I'm in a bad way I guess. Everything she told me was right, harsh but right anyway. I need to think about it. I need to act and to reajust some things. For my own sake.

I don't like those kind of Saturday evenings I had yesterday. Most of the time, mine are full of joy, nice moments with friends and my love. I don't honestly remember the last Saturday evening I spend alone. Poor Rose, you will tell me. No, I entirely deserve that. I just hope, I will be able to learn from my mistakes. It won't be the easy part, that's for sure. But it worths it.

"People still like the truth. It's just that they become better at lying"

2009-01-24T17:22:00.007+01:00

I saw Revolutionary Road, (in Paris for the record) not in the best conditions as I will tell you later. It's one of the best films I've seen for the last few months.

First, the actors are really good, that's not a moot point. I'm a huge fan of Kate Winslet which is without doubts my favorite actress. And Leonardo Di Caprio is so talented, it's really amazing. I guess, both of them did need some time to recover from a scenario like this one.

And then, the story, adapted from a novel I encourage you to read. "How to break free without breaking apart"? How to live what you really want and not what the society expects you to ? How to have the guts to feel alive and to even be alive ?

This film is harsh, at so many levels. In its way of showing things, of describing them, of implying them too. Some scenes are unbearable. The end is even harsher I guess but I won't say a word for those who maybe haven't seen it.

What matters to me with this film is the questioning that everyone is bound to have after. This film can't let you indifferent. Love or loath, you're bound to feel something.

Those who have never judged and even never found mediocre some people's lives, those who have never say out loud "I will never have this kind of life", please raise your hand. Because, to be honest, even if I don't want to, I'm doing that too often. And I'm not proud of that, not at all. It's just that if I do know what I don't want, I'm still searching what I want. And yes, it makes me freak out. And yes, I have the maturity of a new born rabbit for that matter. And it does make me freak out a little more...

There's no receipe for happiness. There's no receipe for "feeling alive". It's only about attemps, about mistakes, about bravery too. Because sometimes, having the courage to say "I quit, that's not for me, I deserve something else", well I guess, that's hard, that's terrifying.

I don't know what kind of person I'm going to become, especially not these days. But I hope, that no matter what happen, I will never lie to myself and that I will try to make things work the way I think they fit. We all are allowed to make mistakes. But we also all owe to ourselves to try to fix them...

My rant !

2009-01-23T11:22:00.001+01:00

Unbelievable !

I wanted to go to the Movies this week end because there's this special film I want to watch : Revolutionary Road. Can't wait. Love the story, love the actors.

And would you believe that after half an hour research on the net, I can't find any Movies with the original version where I live ? Seriously ?? !!!

I know, I can go to Paris where most of the Movies broadcast it in english. But I don't feel like taking the public transportation again and I don't either feel like taking the car for that.

My point is I honestly find, it's a pity that the original version isn't more widespread in this country (and after that, we are so suprised that pupils can't even say a word in english after many years of learning, grr). And it's a pity too that the suburbs movies don't make the effort to broadcast it.

I'm a definitively moaner today, sorry.

Feels like home, part 2

2009-01-23T08:43:00.000+01:00

The other day, the Love of my Life and I went to Ikéa. I know, it's a cliché. And it was even on Sunday. Overcrowded so. Shame on us, I know that. But in fact, not so much...

In the meantime, it was a great moment because we bought our first piece of furniture for our future home. And trust me or not, it's priceless, even with the crowd, even with the crying babies and the "I don't care that my baby's crying" parents. (You should have guessed it, I'm not a huge fan of overcrowded places).
Well, I know, it's only furniture but that's a first step though.

A first step I'm waiting for for some months and a first step that kind of worries me too. I'm too insecured. I always have been. And sometimes it can be destructive. I have too many doubts about my ability to be loved (even with many many prooves) and to manage things.
I don't only want to live with him. I want to live with him happily. I'm not saying "ever after" because I don't really believe in that. But I want a "truly, madly, deeply" which lasts. And there are so many people around me who just failed, who broke up, who didn't manage to make this "happily ever after" last.

And I think of them and I'm telling to myself, that I'm not better than anyone. So the question is : will I be able to succeed in that ? I truly hope so...

Feels like home, part 1

2009-01-22T00:35:00.002+01:00

As far as I remember, I have always craved for having my own home, for decorating it the way I like and for creating this perfect, peaceful and cosy place.

I have a weird relationship with what we call a "home".

I had one, the house of my childhood, the house of my parents together and well thanks to my father's mid-life crisis, we had to sell it. It wouldn't have bothered me to sell the father and to keep the house. But it wasn't possible like that. Not the happiest memory of my life, not at all.

And then I runned away, sorry I just left for another country. And I finally came back, I had to. And since then, there's something broken with the "home thing". I do love the house of my mother, I feel fine there, I feel comfortable but I just don't feel home anymore.

Maybe it's a question of place. I'm still linving in the same town for many years. And I would like to change. Surprinsingly enough, I travelled around the world and I felt more home there, in my hotel room, in unknonw streets than in this town. It is really weird, because I have this ability to feel home everywhere, except in my hometown.

I only hope this feeling will come back when I'm going to have mine, I only hope I will be able to create one...

Pieces of my day

2009-01-21T15:08:00.002+01:00

- After work, I will go back to the Hermine de Pashmina shop. No, I know what you imply, not to buy at all. Only because it happened that I lost a button of my wonderful Cashemere cardigan. So I called them in order to know if they can find a solution. And actually they did. "I'm sure we have some buttons left in the shop"...

- I will then drink a wonderful strawberry smoothie in a place I do like. Yes, you're right, I'm definitively a smoothie addict and I'm proud of that, even during winter time. Plus, I do need some vitamins.

- I'm supposed to see one of my friend,you know one of the demanding and never satisfied one. I honestly wonder how it will be. I only know that I need to talk to her, to tell her how she makes me feel. I don't want to keep that for me anymore. Not for our friendship either. I'm not pissed off, I'm not angry. I just need her to show a little bit more understanding than she actually does. Let's see.

- I got news from two friends of mine. One lives in New York and is pregnant and the other lives in France and is pregnant too. That's simple, those days, I need two hands to count the number of pregnant women in my friends circle. I do not exaggerate. I'm glad for both of them because I know, they wanted that for a very long time.

But there's also this weird, kind of uncomfortable feeling. Have you ever had this annoying impression of lagging behind in comparison with, let's say, everyone's around you ? Because I have and I don't like this feeling, not at all. I don't want to have a baby right now (thanks god, because it's not the good time, at all) but I can't help myself to see what all those people have and to see what I don't. I know, it's only a question of point of view, but still there's this feeling.

- Speaking of that, at the office, I have this colleague. He is a moaner. No matter what, no matter what happened or how bad or good is the weather or the food for the lunch, he just moans and groans. I gotta say, that I kind got used to it. It does even amuse and entertain me from time to time. But, the other day, my mum told me that I was always complaining (which is not entirely but for the large part right). And I suddenly thought of this guy. The thing is I don't want to be a moaner because moaning doesn't add anything in our life, except irritation. I don't want to become Moaning Myrtle, if you see what I mean.

My point is that I will always have reasons to complain (I hope that better times are lying ahead, though) but I have to struggle against my "moaning and groaning" nature because that's not what I want to be.

Do you have any tips or advices about it, dear readers ?

Have a very nice afternoon !