
Yesterday, it was the father's day and the music's day too. Concerning the father thing, I can't even remember the last time I saw him so the question of what to offer and how to celebrate was easily answered. Concerning the music's day, it was solved by the fact that I got up at 4.00 this morning.
But I easily remember of dates. Maybe it can explain why I studied history as first choice. Four years ago, I celebrated summer with three of my best friends in Paris. I had just broken things off my boyfriend and I was kind of devastated. I remember the pain, the heat, this terrible restaurant where we ate and where I wanted to go without paying (I've never eaten so badly). I remember all those couples I saw this evening. I remember me feeling alone for the first time for four years. One of my best friends is not a friend anymore. Those things happen, even if it's sad.
Three years ago, I had just finished a wonderful year and was about to leave for Germany. I was so happy. I spend the music's day with two of my best friends and we have so much fun. Happiness was all around, fear and happiness. And I knew, I did know, something extraordinary was on the verge to happen...
Two years ago, I spend this evening with my Love, not in Paris, but in a city I'm in love with (Zou, you know it very well :). We laughed a lot, shared so many memories and spend a wonderful time. After my German experience, I felt, I was back for good...even if my meredith's mood was about to arrive. I went through many questions concerning my professional life this summer and chose to focus on communication studies and to leave international relations for a while. Strangely enough, this decision led me to what I am today, professionnaly speaking and it's just so weird to think about how much everything can be bound and connected.
One year ago, I didn't do anything special, I had some important papers to hand over and a thesis to write. I was about to finish my studies and to start a nice summer job... I had no idea of what would come next.
And today, I don't really know where I am. I'm a Glass half-empty person and there will always be things I want and that I don't have. But for this summer, I wish to myself to enjoy things I already have as long as possible...
I'm the kind of person who think that she will never be good enough, that she will fail before even trying. I often tend to have this impression that everyone's moving forward and that I'm the only one who doesn't have any change in her life.
Those (long!) lines made me realize that somehow I may not be entirely right about that. Sometimes it's a good thing to know...
I wish to all of you a nice week !